Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my dad has “accepted” that I’m a lesbian, but can’t seem to understand why I can’t just ignore that part of myself, marry a man and have kids, and never talk about the "lesbian thing" ever again. FML
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML
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Top comments
eftup 9
Women that can drive a stick is a plus. Was that dirty?
lulu121893 0
I didn't know driving a stick would considered being lesbian...?
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Comments (117)
Alleged_Cranium 7
More info needed: Do you have a femullet? Do you wear Birkenstocks? Do you drive a Subaru? Do people confuse you with Peppermint Patty?
lidemocr 0
heyy I drive a Suburu and am a happily married woman! It's brand new though and has a baby seat. also, it doesn't have a single bumper sticker on it ;). okay? wth? peppermint patty?
premiermois 5
26.... what the ****?
RedPillSucks 33
I love peppermint patty
ulicksam 0
Not because you can drive a stick but because you think it's a way of emasculating men. Women who hate men like to think anything they can do successfully is sticking it to the guys. In reality, it only shows what a douche you are.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I can't say OP hates men based on this post but I do agree that she's kind of a bitch. Does busting balls make you feel better somehow? At least pick something difficult to be proud about. BTW, none of my lesbian friends can drive manual shift. Driving a stick shift isn't masculine and being masculine doesn't make you a lesbian. You and your dad are idiots.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe she wasn't doing it on purpose. Some guys just get bent out of shape if a woman can do something that they can't and is in the "guy" domain.
jewels1877 0
I'd learn how to drive a stick-shift. There's always the chance that that may be the only vehicle you're left with when running from an axe murderer. Props to you.
MdoAngel 0
*looks around cautiously* I'm such a wimp. now I'm scared.
TheXTG8680 0
i hope you do not attempt to reproduce or raise an adopted child. especially a male child. replace "lesbian" with "****", and your pops would have been spot on.
k_madison 0
.
TheXTG8680 0
sorry you had to follow me.
emmybieber 0
I luv ur pic. it's a kitty!!!
heyred 11
For driving a stick? the boys (not men!) in your town aren't emasculated - they're pansies!
mixtertrix 5
******* hell I can't believe the amount of people that don't know how to drive manuals. That should be the only llicense you can go for (but still buy an auto). Excluding disabled etc people (they can go for auto license). It is incredibly easy to drive a manual car I could do it when I was ******* 8 years old.
RedPillSucks 33
Most of the younger people I've seen who can only drive automatics are either from the suburb or the city. People in the rural areas tend to learn on older vehicles with manual transmission. I taught my daughter on a manual cause its harder to talk on the phone or text while driving a manual.
ydi_4_suking 20
no its still pretty easy to talk and text while driving manual
lifeinhd 3
73, that just means she'll be more likely to crash when she tries it. Now, I've eaten an ice cream cone while driving a manual, and I didn't crash, but I'll bet I would have driven better in an auto.
julieseattle 4
God, I drive a stick. I must be a lesbian too!!!
TheXTG8680 0
leave it to a female from Seattle to completely miss the point while raising the "lesbian" battle banner as if this were the 1960's. cmon now. you should be smarter than this - you live in Seattle (or surrounding areas)!
muffpuncher 0
deep down you must want to be a lesbian.
jablome 6
Good news! There is a test to find out whether or not you are a lesbian. Step 1: Look down at your tongue. Is it in another woman's snatch? if the answer is yes, you are a lesbian. Step 2: See step 1.
Picking_Kuppies 0
Leave it to somebody like #38 to not know what sarcasm is.
janise 2
Maybe I'm missing something but how is it even remotely macho/masculine to know how to drive stick? Gripping a large stick with your hand and moving it around is not what I think of when I think of masculinity...
TheXTG8680 0
op was using her skill in driving stick to belittle her male friends due to they're lack of skill in driving stick. op perceived "driving stick" to be a skill men should possess due to having male genitalia. of course, you easily glossed over that.
Grimmerie 31
39, lrn2joke.
techweed 12
simply the fact that you drive a stick makes you straight