Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
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Top comments
twiztedone 19
Mentos! They work wonders!
mclauren29 22
Does his cats breath smell like cat food?
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Comments (61)
Korosuhito 26
Better you hear it from him than, say, a client at work.
Jaevwyn 17
Lay off the cat food OP! I know it's hard to resist...... Or maybe not
Bleekers17 2
Lmfao! Hell nah
graphicstyle7 17
Your friend is probably envious of you, that's why they so rudely interrupted.
buddy51 23
Well, does it? Better dental hygiene seems in order, cat-breath!
Electric91_fml 2
Hello, I've made an account JUST to comment on this; I think OP, it's good for you to know that i'm the exact same, in any situation, wether it's my mother, my brother, my friends or girlfriend,if I sense something about a bad breath hygiene, I interrupt them and tell them about it. It's not because we don't care about the news, but it's really not cool to have to stare face to face to your people and have to endure such a breath. you would understand then that it's important for the future aswell, maybe with the close people it's ok, but imagine in front of your future co-workers, or so? It's prevention but it's for your own good, these things are important for yourself; I honestly broke up with a girl because she was really not hygienic despite numerous remarks. Love or not, sometimes, these little things really do matter.
KiddNYC1O 22
You really only say shit like that with people you're really close with.
krunchy_kitty 8
OP, you said you were *proud* of him? Proud??? "I'm so proud of you" is something you say to your kids or your kindergarten students. Between supposed equals, it's a pretty uppity thing to say. No wonder he slapped you down -- criticizing your breath was just a way to knock you off your self-made pedestal.
glitternuggets 3
This is the OP. Just wanted you to know that the reason I was saying this, was not because of the job, or any 'pedestal', but because of the efforts he made to better himself, to be able to get this job. If you honestly think that complimenting and encouraging someone you love because they accomplished their goals by working hard is 'uppity', then you must have some issues of your own. thank you, and kindly **** off.
Dead_Fox 17
If his cat munches roses, that's cute. On the other hand, if he's like every other cat and licks his own butt-hole, not so much cute as disturbing....
False_Stupidity 42
While he could have been a bit more subtle, there's only so much bad breath you can take before you have to say something.