Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said, "You look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter, she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML
Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, "I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy." FML
Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
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Top comments
d_hoffryn 0
That's what you get for fishing I'm afraid.
reset_button 0
YDI for fishing for compliments
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Comments (96)
d_hoffryn 0
That's what you get for fishing I'm afraid.
cucuto89 0
agreed, she was askin for it
marz88 0
sorry had to put this up here. OMFG Q ******* Q not even close to an FML. Please moderate better people we all know he was probably joking and she is either fishing or too sensitive for her own good.
withsexyresults 0
Yeah, wtf is up with all the girls on FML who ******* invite people to shit all over them and are surprised when they do. "Today. I was talking about how ugly I am and my friend didn't bask me in attention and tell me how pretty I am. FML." Don't be a such a whiny self-deprecating piece-of-shit and people won't treat you like one.
seb12992 0
Indeed. What kind of an idiot says something like "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me". That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Darraghscoot 0
thats what you call social ************ :)
MiGman 5
op that's not FML worthy
Therid 22
#83 I like that term.
reset_button 0
YDI for fishing for compliments
L0veh8te 0
YDI for making a stupid comment at the end. You were Just asking for it.
fnool 0
YDI for choosing a Pokémon as your username. Actually, no, never mind; that's kind of hot.
altna 4
You must be http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/3971030
remysgal 0
I think this is actually kind of sweet. I don't think he meant that your gross but that you are more huggable than you realise, and contradictory to what you think, he would like to hug you.
kewl92 0
yeah I agree, I don't think this was that bad at all
DameGreyWulf 1
Yeah, that's what I would think he said if I were in her position. Damn girl, get some self-esteem.
diet_otaku 0
those were my thoughts too. he DID offer to hug her first.
bekkii94 3
^is right. even though it sounded harsh I dont think he meant it in a bad way. :)
aback 5
Ew. You'd better put on a full-body condom before you let him hug you, then.
giganticbrain 0
Good idea, then she suffocates and dies. Nice use of a little thing called logic.
splitsides 4
Calm down. It was a joke. You know, something not meant to be taken seriously...
Trilogy 1
#5 I was thinking the same thing
tWitt3rBuG 0
Quit looking for a pity party. What the dude said sounds harmless, you're just looking into things. Poor guy for being generous!
GreenDaysGeekGrl 0
YDI. He told you what you didn't want to hear. Sucks for you. Get over it.
ohnoyouDINT 0
If you go fishin', don't complain about what you catch. Why Dee Eye...
skiBOAT 0
Well at least you're huggable. Now stop looking for praise.
billchilled 0
YDI for trying to mess with his head. I hate how girls always say they are ugly fugly fat nasty whatever just because they think the guy will always say "Don't say that your not" well tough luck.
ohnoyouDINT 0
yep we're done with that shit.
paperfox_fml 0
I hate how some men make sweeping judgements about the behaviour of all women on Earth based on the actions of a few.
ohnoyouDINT 0
cause women never do this. Mmhmmm.
fatraptorjesus13 9
a few? you mean the few that don't?