Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said, "You look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter, she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML
Today, I weighed myself for the first time in a while and confirmed that I have put on a few pounds. I was feeling a bit down about it. I went to work and on arriving a workmate I hadn't seen in a while gave me a hug. She said, "I love hugging you, you're so nice and squishy." FML
Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
d_hoffryn 0
That's what you get for fishing I'm afraid.
reset_button 0
YDI for fishing for compliments
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
kukopia 0
I don't get this - must be 'cause I'm a guy. 'guy friend' = emotional tampon, to be used (almost literally) at your discretion You were obviously dumping your emotional slough on him because he offered to cheer you up. You make a self-insulting 'joke' and get all whiney when he gives a reply you don't approve of... Fishing for compliment FAIL Friend FAIL Gross Pass
Ketz 0
What he should have said was nothing.
ohnoyouDINT 0
no, that's what you should've said.
canadian_girl289 0
LOL! yes :D "err...whatever..."
HelloStarshine 0
This is completely your fault. It's obvious he was joking. He meant well. Don't go and say crap like that if you don't wanna hear what's coming next. What he said isn't even that bad. I've seen much worse.
deaditegirl 0
YDI for fishing for compliments. Quit your whining and learn to take a joke.
indigo_x 0
You set yourself up for that one.
FoundManyLemons 0
Zing!
sparxva 12
Your life doesn't suck. Your friend said he'd give you a hug. Even when you were acting whiny and feeling sorry for yourself. You've got a good friend. Now take off your diaper and put on your big girl pants.
aravol 0
You know, that sounds cute and I think he was referring to the hugging part and ignoring the gross part. Stop being overly self-concious, oi!
popoman 0
You're ugly. That's your fault.
VitamiX 0
ydi for fishing for compluimunts IM VITAMIX THE COOLEST