Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Why not just switch seat, or stand up? Can't be that hard if he was so bad.
rbalboa76 5
"Nuttier than Ron Jeremy's nut sack." Best analogy ever!
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Comments (60)
PengiPou 12
That's a very nice description you got there
robd007 20
I don't understand why you people let that kind of thing slide. I wouldn't put up with something like that and neither should you!
Kiki242 19
Hey, not all us floridians are crazy.
cheflife 7
You sure about that? We're all ****** up Floridians here, but hopefully not comparable to Ron Jeremy's balls
maggiefox 25
The descriptions in this was amazing my friend.
TisAPenguin 16
You didn't have to sit there at all. I swear it's like everyone forgot how to move or speak up.
FrankHotpants 31
That's quite the character description, I'll have to use that one.
Xotoolyxo 16
Should have started muttering something crazier back
katertott 44
Ew, I hate people like that.
cheflife 7
Welcome to Florida! Creeps everywhere! But we're mostly good people. It's a struggle finding room on the buses so I understand your pain. Hopefully you never see him again
MrBlackledge 12
That is possible the best description of a human being I have ever heard