Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML
Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cdgrayson 21
Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...
brvnnx 18
Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
ghetto_child 19
someone's gettin' lucky tonight!
sonasonic 34
Definitely ain't OP... Brain bleach anyone? Double concentration.
aseus 9
LOL
LeavenSilva 27
Now we all have that mental image too....
cdgrayson 21
Your grandpa has a better sex life than most of us on this site...
mountainmanmike 11
Speak for yourself!
MrSassypants 34
I agree with #18. Speak yourself. My hand knows exactly what I want.
samthestud13 10
Balling since 1944
Attacksloth 33
Ball gags since 1944*
Qwermy 16
he invented balling
brvnnx 18
Grandpa didn't choose the Thug life, the thug life chose grandpa.
91hayek 31
*Still D.R.E starts playing*
muzy 23
It don't get smoother than that! you're grandad sounds like a legend, OP. Though he could have spared you on the detail.
xxlittlemsanime 24
I guess being freaky has no limit.
funneh1 21
My thoughts exactly.. lol
FieldLeftBlank 20
Ask him for some tips.
bwinski 19
the only one getting a "tip" is granny apparently..
funneh1 21
Oh my....haha. What an awful mental image even though this made me laugh.