Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
This is exactly why I carry a bottle of coca-cola with me at all times. I never know when I'll need it to bribe a polar bear.
musicnole 8
I really hope you weren't driving...
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Comments (76)
Karls_Marx 13
If scissoring or butt ******* will make you happy so be it
limabeans101029 21
...Huh?
Doofinx 8
Define sleep deprived.
Cads1 24
It is the state your body ends up in if you don't have enough sleep.
Doofinx 8
Oh I wasn't asking for the definition in was being sarcastic since lots of people say they are sleep deprived but they choose not to sleep. Thanks for the reply though:)
sdroze1389 31
sleep deprivation causes me tons of hallucinations. it's part of usually day two or three mania
CLT_420 13
Don't worry pal it's 4/20 now, Just get high and that polar bear is a cloud of smoke passing by.
Colden_H 7
Maybe u should drink some water.....oops nvm
writerchic85 26
This is the stupidest Fml I've read yet
876t786t6oi 12
How do you know it's not a polar bear if you were sleep deprived :0 XD
Jujuboo_3 25
Oh maybe it really was a polar bear but you thought it was a car as a polar bear.
emmy165 16
I just wanted to thank you for giving me a proper laugh out loud moment and releasing me from a bad mood. I feel your pain, I'm frequently so shattered I imagine leaves flying are pigeons and once imagined a rock was a hedgehog!
kavyashahs 16
Join a anti-drug campaign bruv.