Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I was driving through a crossroad on the main road. A driver from the right got road rage, as I didn't let him go first. He drove past me and started brake-checking me. After that he followed me over whole city to scream and curse at me in front of my flat. I didn't break any the laws. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
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Top comments
SecretMe00 5
He was probably just ******* with you.
n_epic_fail 14
Probably a drunk that mistook you for someone else.... Or you should consider finding a safehouse.
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Comments (82)
SecretMe00 5
He was probably just ******* with you.
Marcella1016 32
I'd still invest in some extra locks, an alarm system, and maybe even a dog. There's a lot of psychos running around these days...
neal001 0
Lock all your doors and windows also keep a knife and phone with you in bed and that should keep you safe.......For now o_0
NuTrees 9
You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real.
theten_fml 9
Nothing will happen. He should of done something then and there. At least threw something at you.
gojira666 7
How would he know where you live?
0671241409 0
He's climbin in your windows
IphonFML 6
i know OP's situation is bad and all, but am I the only one who thought of Arthur's theme song when I read the first line? :p
nic7973 23
yup!
jennyvieve 8
And I say, "Hey! What a wonderful kind of day!"
AllSoul 23
I don't think he was saying it's a wonderful day, but just singing the cartoon theme song from "Arthur", just a little joke... And yes, I did too #43.
tellithowitis 13
Which Arthur are you guys talking about???
AllSoul 23
#60 is talking, well, singing about the cartoon Arthur, and #43 was talking about the you/rudetube remix I believe.
n_epic_fail 14
Probably a drunk that mistook you for someone else.... Or you should consider finding a safehouse.
honeybuncher 3
I guess I was that drunk...sorry honey!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Wow! What a crazy coincidence that you not only remember that you did that if you were drunk, but also that both you and OP comment on FML.
Suchagoonnn 4
Just because you're drunk doesn't mean you don't remember lool..
NeonPopRocks 14
HoneyBuncher or Honey BooBoo?
The_Hitdude 12
Dang...sucks to be you dude.
tehaustiebear 34
Agreed, although OP's a female.
agm77 9
I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes!
LaughinStock 16
Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Good Burger can I take your order? :D damn haven't seen that movie for a while now. :(
Acaprice14 9
AGM77 beat me to it :/
flamerocker 9
Traitor!!
EduJav321 24
He had it coming
bri5083 9
That's called a drive by bitch out. Hope you had a wonderful experience. :)
kishan14 2
Lol
WCARlover 35
"come again"
Ali_Br_fml 33
Wow, there are really some psychos driving around your neighborhood. You probably have a twin you don't know about...or that guy just sucks at recognizing people... Lock your doors and windows at night op, and good luck with that sleeping situation.
jennyvieve 8
And hide your kids 'cause he's snatchin' your people up.
tennisrapper1 14
What a nutball! Carry on with life, this hopefully won't do you too much harm.
HairyPunisher 27
Guys are so dumb sometimes. This asshole can't even tell the difference between a stranger and a one night stand he had.
MelTheGreat 23
Cool story, brah. So cool it's causing my nipples to practically turn into icicles. Hell, they could probably cut glass right now. I should dip them in warm water or something. PMSL
HairyPunisher 27
You're hysterical. You write your own material?
RatedR916_fml 0
Lmao
FroHo 8
14 - epic win is epic! :D
perdix 31
If he didn't harm you while you were alone on the street, he's too much of a wuss to do anything later. You can continue to betray him with impunity. Sleep tight!
LiveLaughFML 10
The best revenge is making someone paranoid. If you do something then, they'll figure it's over and have nothing to worry about. But if you wait, it'll constantly be on their mind. For ever, and ever, and ever...muahaha! *evil cackle*