Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was asleep on a plane. I woke up after feeling the plane jolt and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The little girl next to me told me I was a sissy. Everyone around us laughed. FML
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I'll bet you didn't hear him complaining, though. ;)
Pleonasm 36
I bet he wasn't creeped out though. After a while, though, I think it was less up and down the leg, and more up and down the dong. I think he's ready for take-off. I bet his jet engine enjoyed its four-stroke cycle.
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Comments (103)
NotGabe 28
If it lasts for more than four hours...
andyyroxx 20
Imagine waking up to the old man giving the same look to OP as your profile photo...
ddddddddg 9
Would be funnier if you were a guy
rintintin19 5
same thing happened to me only i was actually rubbing my friend's butt!
1dvs_bstd 41
Did the old man enjoy it? I'd pay to watch the aftermath!
Megan98 18
Did he like it?
VampObsessed 16
Why is this their fault? They were dreaming; can't help what you dream about or what you do while asleep.
ICastillo 25
Hmm good point there, but I don't think a girl wants to be known for jerking a guy to death.
ICastillo 25
This message was meant for a rely to my comment. Still getting used to the new app.
vbmg152 19
Don't feel bad! I mess up & do the same thing all the time!!
vbmg152 19
He must not have minded! If he did, he would've called a flight attendant or woke you up! Probably the highlight of his day! Still, YDI!!
EverdreamOfMe 24
How was this a YDI? The OP was doing something in their sleep they could not control.
Memearrows 1
I don't see why OP deserved this.