Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
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Top comments
reetah 0
gorgeous guys generally know they're gorgeous, and tend to think they can be jerks. don't worry, a lot of men actually prefer smaller boobs! or you could stuff, whatever floats your boat. :P
Manda777 0
haha wow. what a jackass. and yea 3 thats usually true. it is so hard to find an extremely hott guy that isn't a total douche.
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Comments (153)
JessicaIsabel 0
I was a D when I was 14, lol
birchknollbabe32 0
I was a D by the end of grade 6
zhenluo 0
Then you say "if I were you, I'd buy a cup." proceed to kick him in the balls.
SlyTendencies 1
Is this similar to guys bragging about their penis over the Internet?
DrizzeGee 0
Dude, shut the **** up. Who do you think you are hatin on all the women out here. We're not all trophies, you lonely betch! You're immature, I swear I am a child and I probably have a more vast knowledge and clearly better morals. So yeah, encourage ladies to get boob jobs, but you know what, you're gonna die a sad lonely troll because NO female likes to hear this. And yeah, you can also say "this bitch is just an ugly femenist", but imma straight up tell you i aint half ugly, and thanks to stupid comments like tgese ive made myself underweight, and im moving back up. Bitch, you ain't half legit.
omfglover 0
It's ok sometimes people like a girl with smaller boobs :) big ass boobs are a turnoff
lolufatfuck 2
lol fat ass fat chick **** dont count duuh
Greggums 2
Should have said 'If I were you I would go **** myself'
arsenicatnip 5
should have said "if i were you i'd wear a cup" and kneed him in the balls.
Boopycat 15
It would be funny if you were already wearing one x3