Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Today, alone at my new company, the guy who works the front desk joined me for lunch. I was touched at first, but then he proceeded to have a conversation (against my will) with me about Whitney Houston, for over an hour. That's one lunch break I'll never get back. FML
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, at a very important company function where lots of the big bosses were, including the CEO of the company, I absentmindedly introduced the executive director whose name is Whitney as “Whitney Houston.” On stage. In front of ALL of them. I’ll never live this down. FML
Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML
Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So she was the reincarnation of Whiney Houston before Whitney died? How exactly does that work? Oooh! Maybe when this idiot was born she stole some of Whitney's soul and that's why Whitney spiraled into lunacy during her last few years. Ha! I've finally solved the mystery of "What the **** went wrong with Whitney Houston".
morganrules123 10
Whitney obviously put a horcrux in this poor girl.
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Comments (149)
Shadow_Phantom 26
The reincarnation of somebody who died within the last 5 years... seems legit. -_-
photoquilty 6
You should tap that.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
What if they're both women?
olmikey 1
What's wrong with two women tapping each other
trueginger 1
So wouldn't that make her a Whitney Houston wannabe?
SimplyEerb 3
Weird people like this make life interesting (:
Shaneisabeast 0
Ok, #1 if rencarnation did exist (in my beilef on jesus christ will be reincarnated) for people of our world, u cant be the reincarnation of someone who has died in your lifetime
bcnelson13 7
Ummm...Jesus WAS reincarnated.
aperfectxdeath 3
What are you, ****? Bang her, make her your gf, and tune her out. Problem solved.
Dallyni 22
Shouldn't she be a Whitney Huston wanna be rather than Paris Hilton?
lexiieeex3 32
Well was she?
timberwolf408 7
agree and tell her that you're the reincarnation of bobby brown and slap that bitch up...
mercsl65 7
that sounds like some great fun with one of gods children. people watching and Interacting with weirdos are two of my favorite things