Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Today, alone at my new company, the guy who works the front desk joined me for lunch. I was touched at first, but then he proceeded to have a conversation (against my will) with me about Whitney Houston, for over an hour. That's one lunch break I'll never get back. FML
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, at a very important company function where lots of the big bosses were, including the CEO of the company, I absentmindedly introduced the executive director whose name is Whitney as “Whitney Houston.” On stage. In front of ALL of them. I’ll never live this down. FML
Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML
Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So she was the reincarnation of Whiney Houston before Whitney died? How exactly does that work? Oooh! Maybe when this idiot was born she stole some of Whitney's soul and that's why Whitney spiraled into lunacy during her last few years. Ha! I've finally solved the mystery of "What the **** went wrong with Whitney Houston".
morganrules123 10
Whitney obviously put a horcrux in this poor girl.
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Comments (149)
ririzzle 2
Why would a wannabe Britney Spears work at a graveyard?
Schiffy 18
A graveyard shift means extremely late starting and ending hours, not literally working at a graveyard.
hama806 19
I do believe OP said Pars Hilton. Ding Dong.
CantBeatMe2007 5
The amount of stupidity is overflowing from this comment...-_-'
CantBeatMe2007 5
Oops the amount of stupidity overflowing from this comment is too much to handle...
klovely22 13
I can feel my brain cells deteriorating as I read all these stupid comments. You are making yourself look just as dumb as the girl OP works with.
PrincessPesa 20
I laughed at 15. And if that makes me stupid, well, spin me into a wall.
hama806 19
36- I sit corrected. Pars or Paris...she's still an idiot...and so is the OP of this thread. But thanks.
tennisrapper1 14
That's impossible assuming she's over 6 months old. She can't reincarnate from someone who was alive at the same time as her. It just doesn't fit the definition... EDIT: didn't see docs comment before I posted this. Lol sorry.
Rocky007 15
Tell her you won't always love her.
stormchaser24 24
I use to work the graveyard shift. I loved it. I feel your pain with the co worker. FYL
featherygoose 9
Does she wear diapers?
Bjuddstr 4
They call it the graveyard shift because you want to kill your co worker.
BunBunBabe 8
Sounds like she may be easily convinced of random far fetched things, try to convince her elephants have five legs and their trunk is the fifth leg for fun
WafflebotO_O 4
Or, convince her to do something that will get her fired. Problem solved!
annie_nk 23
Tell her to hit the silent alarm button (if there is one) and convince her that eveytime you hit it, you get a pay raise.
Kiki242 19
She better gave the voice of an angel. Whitney Houston had a hell of a voice before she destroyed it.
candylandy 1
Wouldn't that make her a Whitney Houston wannabe?
AwsumShyGuy 12
No, because reincarnation works that you become a new person when you're born, but with the same soul, and you can't be a wannabe of someone you "already are."
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Suck her bell then, maybe it'll shut the broad up. I mean, your name IS "Bellsucker"