Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Today, alone at my new company, the guy who works the front desk joined me for lunch. I was touched at first, but then he proceeded to have a conversation (against my will) with me about Whitney Houston, for over an hour. That's one lunch break I'll never get back. FML
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, at a very important company function where lots of the big bosses were, including the CEO of the company, I absentmindedly introduced the executive director whose name is Whitney as “Whitney Houston.” On stage. In front of ALL of them. I’ll never live this down. FML
Today, my coworker told everyone on staff that I’m a stuck up bitch because I stared blankly at her when she tried to talk to me. I tried to listen, but I zoned out after she rambled on endlessly about the Kardashians and Kanye West. FML
Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, the manager that hired me and worked for years to inspire and connect her staff was laid to rest. Hours before the funeral, her replacement told me he wanted my two weeks notice on his desk tonight. I've been a model employee, he just doesn't like me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So she was the reincarnation of Whiney Houston before Whitney died? How exactly does that work? Oooh! Maybe when this idiot was born she stole some of Whitney's soul and that's why Whitney spiraled into lunacy during her last few years. Ha! I've finally solved the mystery of "What the **** went wrong with Whitney Houston".
morganrules123 10
Whitney obviously put a horcrux in this poor girl.
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Comments (149)
ChristyBVB 8
How about you give her the special gift of a grave already prepared for her? :)
bc_canada98 4
Be thankful at least she's not convinced she's gonna marry all of One Direction...
hhhwat 0
Ha! Thats sadly hilarious, teach her the meaning of reincarnation, maybe she'll shutup
captainburke 5
Try to get with her what else is there to do during the graveyard shift? Maybe you can even do a little recording...
newdaysamedream 2
Me thinks some mind games are in order,so have some fun messing with her head!
killmepills 5
Ever get the feeling that some people just need to be shot? I'm so sorry you are forced to deal with idiocy of that magnitude.
kimmi41509 10
I'm gonna go out on a limb far from my own morals and sanity to state a Paris Hilton line, "That's hot!"
blink_kid 32
I'm sure she was born before Whitney Houston died, so I don't think that makes sense.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Take this opportunity to sell her some fake Whitney Houston memorabilia.
2cute4u_18 1
Docbastard stfu