Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I went through the drive-through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response, I started frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, a woman came out to my car and said, "Please pull up to the speaker." I'd been yelling at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
Today, I learned that just because the cute barista at the train station smiles, waves at me each time I arrive, and develops small talk, probably means she's trying to sell me pastries. The smile she had when I asked for her number, and the way she said, "Nah" still haunts me. FML
Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
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Top comments
yodelqueen13 0
haha mistaken sexual harrassment sucks
arela 0
what the **** who says double D's for dunkin donuts you douche you deserve it
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Comments (323)
yodelqueen13 0
haha mistaken sexual harrassment sucks
brainiac94 0
1 word. moron.
danielle523 0
haha nice one buddy..
iCute 0
ur cutte.
actionwaters 3
it's true. you are
danyfuckinheatle 0
very true :)
Danhickey 0
I agree
Focnr 0
c-c-c-c-combo breaker!
shibainu519 0
310 looks like a condom.
Skarkie321 18
311-I thought it was a penis.
rockandrollbf 0
Might wanna be a little more specific next time.
emailformygames 0
lol nice
emailformygames 0
lol nice
Daysgoby 0
nevermind the coffee, how big were them *******?
I_Am_The_Cold 19
I think you have your priorities straight. ******* are great.
Chazlol 7
LOL, nice..
RaspberryBerret 0
you call Dunkin Donuts Double D? since when do people do that? or am I just behind the times >>
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
kidz theses days... always coming up with hip expressions. back in my day you said groovy. especially while watchin annie on my old 5 incher
pwnrzero 0
What did you expect just say; "nice coffee" show her you have the same one she will smile you move on to a different conversation not to difficult, is it
Benpie 22
*too
wootness 0
It would be best to just say "Is that Dunkin Donuts you have there?" it's the best way to avoid confusion rofl