I am in love. Nothing hurts more than watching the person you love throw away their health. Wondering how long she is going to live before her body gives out on her. With each passing year being able to do less and less together because quiet simply she is physically unable to partake in activities you once enjoyed together. I love her, I am still with her. But can I propose to someone who I will not be able to grow old with, because of her daily choices? Sorry but I can't commit myself to someone who wont make the effort to stay with me for as long as she can. I am not looking for someone to go only halfway on a trip with me.

You're obviously not in love, then. You just want someone to give you emotional validation and mother you. If you really loved her, you'd stick with her no matter what, even if she compromises her own health. Judging by your comment, you might as well buy a non-degradable sex doll or something.

#44, stick to your guns, you are totally right.

So because I care about her health, because I care that we can spend time together doing activities. Because I want to spend as long as possible with her. Because I am still with her even after watching her destroy her health. I do not love her because I will not ask her to sign a paper that legally binds us together for life? I don't want her thin, I just don't want her in a box before she even breaks 40. Maybe it isn't love, I always thought love was given each other 100% in every way. Including not throwing in the towel early simply because to keep going longer required just a little more work.

Does your girlfriend do heroin or something? Or you are over reactinh

So what does count as healthy enough for you, 44? I love to ski and climb mountains. Both are considered extreme sports, as I'm more likely to die in an avalanche, falling off a cliff, getting struck by lightning, etc. than I would going to the gym. I am, however, much more physically and mentally fit than people my age who drag themselves to the gym once or twice a week, even though I'm technically risking my life every time I go up to the mountains. And god knows those injuries have cost my insurance company more than my Type I diabetes...or is a chronic condition I can't control (notice i said Type I, not Type II) also a dealbreaker in your book?

No anything that is beyond someones control I would never EVER use against them. I do not expect her to climb a mountain or run a marathon. I do expect however that she makes the effort to take care of herself. That is all I want, is for her to at least make a sincere effort to be healthy. If she ate clean and exercised and still couldn't lose weight? I would be happy knowing that at least she tries and that is all i want. P.S. I do not find "thin" attractive, there is a HUGE HUGE differences between being thin and being healthy.

This whole argument makes me a little sick. You're willing to be with her, but not marry her? Does she know that? No woman I know would stay with a man who considered her good enough to date but unacceptable for marriage. That is not love. Either leave or stay, but don't lead her on. Disgusting.

#47, givin' them the lovin' is no problem, but getting them on your health-care plan is where the difficulties begin.

You realize that having a baby does not make it impossible for you to be fit again after right? I have two cousins who both with 3 children, and they are two of the fittest women I know. Both are in their 30s and they put college athletes to shame.

Many women have difficulty getting rid of the bit of fat that's left on their bellys after giving birth, so you can be healthy and fit and still not be as thin as you were before getting pregnant.

And it's not just belly fat, there's loose skin too. Even if you get thin with no belly fat, the loose skin makes it look like there's some fat there.

I do, but the hypothyroidism pregnancy triggered makes it really hard...

I'll keep assuming until OP says otherwise