Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, after waiting for two weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
What a twist!
MrKlutch 1
Ask her mom to join you guys
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Comments (83)
perdix 31
I guess since this ended up on FML and not Penthouse Letters, this wasn't how the MILF-daughter threesome started out. I could practically hear "Stacy's Mom" playing in the background.
Angelice_fml 0
Any parent who pretends that they didn't do that stuff as a teenager is in denial...unless they really didn't. In which case they were prudish or repressed, and it's shocking they have kids at all.
JinxosGirl87 0
Regardless, no parent wants to see their child being touched inappropriately by their significant others. Unless they have a sick sex addiction that knows no limits...
ZXDriver 0
Left foot, blue circle. Right hand, left cheek.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
Smooth move, Ex-lax. But but you didn't do anything wrong, OP, the mother can get over it.
gatorsfan100 1
Did you just studder while typing??!
dubsqueet 0
*stutter
MadRoo 6
Hah, the first time I read "only to find out.." and saw the words "her mom" in close succession, I thought you accidentally squeezed her mom's butt :D that would make for an even better FML.
4ugu4 7
And did she "twist" your nips?
4ugu4 7
And did she "twist" your nips?
4ugu4 7
And did she "twist" your nips?
zuzupetalsYO 11
I "jokingly" squeeze her butt. Ha ha classic.
niamah 11
Good "joke" though