Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, after waiting for two weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
What a twist!
MrKlutch 1
Ask her mom to join you guys
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Comments (83)
HoboSmeller 6
compliment her mom and tell her now you know where her daughters great butt comes from.
Random_Person88 8
Yea because that won't make it any more awkward than it already is.
Bladian 5
It was a joke, dumbass.
vi3tno_romeo 5
Did she give you the look of death??..lol
SkateElement44 0
Was her mom playing twister too?
Mister_Triangle 21
I guess you could say he... *puts on sunglasses* spun a "right hand on DEAD" YYYYEEEAAHHHH!!!
jonathanje2 0
is it possible to be anymore lamer then that :|
Mister_Triangle 21
No, and that's the purpose of the joke. I've called the irony police and, as soon as they're done being mugged, they want to have a word with you,
glittercookies 12
Well, i enjoy you.
cnkk07 8
You: *grabs girlfriend's butt* Mom: "What are you doing?! You: oh sorry!! I thought it said left/ right hand _________ (insert color of gf's bottoms)
joee182 3
what a **** block!
Imacrowd 9
How old are you?
stevenmx86 8
12 made me laugh. I hope OP's gf's mom wasn't mad.. It was only a joke after all!
SirSquishyPants 1
What kind of twister were you playing? I want one that says put your hand on an opponents ass, sounds like fun
jobsman99 0
Her mom was probably jealous. She probably has had her butt or **** squeezed in a long time. Those mature ladies love their sex. Do make sure you don't miss your chance with her, too.