Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped two of the cushions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my puppy celebrated a milestone by lifting his leg to pee for the first time. Too bad it was up against my brand new soft fabric couch. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML
Today, I woke up and got out of my room to find two pit bulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML
Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
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Top comments
WiseGuy79 14
It ripped through the fabric?? Is your pup a damn wolverine? lol
1337chick 4
Turn the cushions over! :)
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Comments (211)
DeezyDaee 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first , and dats Tragicc .
imaginaryvoice 18
That's why you pick her up off of it. Not drag her across the couch. Lol
the_flirtt 0
well off to the pound with the dog.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
That's what you get with a bitch like that, ******* are much better.
1fast1 0
Really? Warranty? A dog tearing up the couch is not a manufacturer's defect. Why should the manufacturer have to pay for a new couch?
redrovaa 0
I wasn't ranting about a warranty.. It depends on the cost of the couch. If you have a puppy, getting a brand new expensive couch isn't a good idea.. Plus those are some sharpass claws.
the_flirtt 0
if it was leather they wouldn't have that problem.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Ydi for having a bitch. Get a pussy grow some balls and don't buy furniture that can't handle pets!
Tasanasanta 0
Hold it their 18... Kids are great for labor. When you're lazy and don't want to mow the lawn, or do the dishes, or get a drink. That's what my parents do anyways T_T. They call me Manuel Labor. 22- Who said it was a bitch? And ******* (in your context) suck balls!
xshadyshadow 0
22 - Lmfao, you made my day! That was hilarious!
hghiPigh 0
right. let's say I believe you.
Annihilator 0
, you're
CrimsonWolf1294 0
37- FYI, a bitch is another name for a female dog.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol I find it amusing how mild the fmls have gotten :D
CrimsonWolf1294 0
as do I.
Tasanasanta 0
NO WAY 65! You didn't think that I might have also been refering to the dog as a bitch as well? Just saying gender of dog is not specified T_T.
boopityboppity 11
Yes, 71, it is. "She" and "her" are words generally used to refer to females.
Tasanasanta 0
Well that's confusing because OP also refered to it as an "it" :(
peacelovekat 0
ha ha
boopityboppity 11
Sorry, 76, but the OP didn't do that. "It" in the FML always refers to the couch, never the dog.
Tasanasanta 0
Damn, today is not my day!
KiddNYC1O 22
threadjacking is weak
llppjhddt 0
really. i had no idea
fogive_andforget 0
lmao
kinukle 0
simple. just flip the cushion. dumbass...
KiddNYC1O 22
97- silence! noob
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
puppies are so adorable :)
bishoprsv2 0
In order to be on the same intellectual level as people replying to #1, I would like to say this to OP: ao;dhfjkagsdkbfiafjkabdfjadjkfbasdbfasddfadfsuckaljdhsfoahdslfhaljdickopfaggotjklsdhflhldhaklfakfjkabjkyouresostupidooahflhaldhfanhlnjyoushouldgetashdlfhsomeballsandpussylaksdfklhherpnajsdfljbdlbshahslfhljasdshouldveknownthiswouldabjsdghflabhdfhalshappenjasdjlfhfaglabsldfhjabhjklbfjkderp
Fuzzygraywolf 0
Murphy's law in action lol
Morpheus414 0
Tragic, my ass. YDI!!
rushiee 0
You done goofed. Bravo. Go buy more cushions. (:
Nolwen_fml 0
Dogs...
Strebor 0
I actually think it was finagle's law, not murphy's
MissErikaHart 0
or flip them over
jonan1212 5
exactly
rawrkittehpwnage 0
karma
bravesfan112233 0
blame it on the alcohol
KiddNYC1O 22
^ blame it on the fat
Comatose27 0
bravesfan112233's pic FTW!!!!! XDDDDD
KiddNYC1O 22
buzzkill!
ThePwnapple 0
Well it's obviously YDI for having a dog.
anythingidontnee 0
yo i want tht pic
kieran247 0
second
kieran247 0
I fails :P
megamandude455 10
yes you do fail :p
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Blasphemy! C&H never fails!
owneditup 0
cyanide and happyness is a beast
Angel_Vice 0
Sharp claws for a dog. o____o
purpleamandapand 6
I was thinking that too. and OP just flip the cushions over
FMyLifeCereal 0
Maybe it's an X-dog. Adamantium claws.
ThePwnapple 0
I LOL'd at this comment.
catatonicsleep 17
should trim the puppy's claws... They shouldn't be sharp enough to tear a couch..
Cornizzle 0
For reals tho.
purpleamandapand 6
mine does, but they're usually not sharp
bumbleB_tuna 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i would beat that dog
starile 20
Might as well, since OP'a husband is going to beat her once he comes home.
hd9280 0
kill the dog... beat her!!
Mclovin_95 0
me too i would like never let it in again xD
hd9280 0
u mean the wife right? lol.
the_flirtt 0
haha hd
green_eyes124 0
It's really not the dogs fault. The wife should have put sheets or some covering on the sofas until she trained the dog to not be on the couch. No reason to be mean to the dog guys : )
koalallama11 6
I wouldn't beat the dog. It just would never come out of its cage ever again.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Somebody is not going to be too happy when they get home from work.
Justforlolz 14
awww that sucks. :(
1337chick 4
Turn the cushions over! :)
mooshibear140 4
#11, that will only work if the cushions look the same on both sides. On my leather sofa one side is leather and the bottom is some other material. But if both sides are the same, then yeah, that would work. :)
twinny_sc 13
Flip the cushions, he will never know.
unmadebed 0
The puppy really wanted to be on the couch.