Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me, even though I moved into my own flat to escape her. I told her 'my flat, my rules' so she tried to confiscate my Xbox because 'she’s the boss of me.' The look on her face as the cops took her away was worth the shouting match we’ll have when she makes bail. FML
Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
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Top comments
jagex2121 4
Your neighbor is an asshole
Soniye 14
Call the cops on your neighbor for invading your privacy what right does your neighbor think they have ?! Spying on you like that
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Comments (76)
graceinsheepwear 34
Sounds like instead of a Community Chest, your game had a Community Ass.
olpally 33
Ha! Well said! Lol.
AshleyScruggs 14
Well then, your neighbour is a regular Gladys Kravitz.
phorn84 13
I'm so glad that somebody younger than me made that reference. I grew up watching Bewitched on Nick at Night through the late 80s and early 90s.
AshleyScruggs 14
I love Bewitched, Elizabeth Montgomery was hilarious. :)
cadillacgal79 32
I haven't watched Bewitched in so long....
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your neighbor needs to get a life and quit being involved in yours.
annie_nk 23
She despises you for being a single mother?! What a bitch! Whether you're a single mother by choice or not, it does not mean you're a bad parent. From the sound of it, you seem to be a good mom who can get her kids together for a board game (no easy task in our world of technology). Why would anyone hate someone for being a single parent? Ugh. Your neighbor needs a **** punt.
spiritfang11237 16
so children today we are going to play a game with the neighbor. it's called punt the ****. here let me show you how it is played. *punts neighbor over fence* GOAL!!!
brittyboo123 35
I hope the cop understood the misunderstanding. You sound like a good mother OP.
carpetrider93 4
dang I live in dorado and my neighbors are the same way! so damn nosy. what is it with these puerto ricans?
worldclassrager 41
Monopoly is an abusive game...well it can be...it's like the wild draw four...
peter_t 1
That makes me mad for you.
AshleyScruggs 14
That would just make the situation worse. He/ she would just report her to the police again and they would definitely take note of that kind of violent behaviour after she's been accused of abusing her children.
WildWonder808 14
Wow what a friggin jerk! I hope you don't get into any kind of trouble OP, I know certain states take calls like that serious.