Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "My Sex Life". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML
Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
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Top comments
Yessi_Boo 14
Oh, right in the ego!
newbiehere99 6
#1 - Your comment is pathetic.
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Comments (81)
88vivera 9
Maybe she was joking....?
shammer69 0
The "my" cards apply only to the judge. You would know had you read the rules.
aribari373 5
"My" in "my sex life" refers to the judge's personal life, not the person who put the card down. Its in the directions
TaffyMichele 9
You're only at least the sixth person to comment that on this FML. Congratulations.
darkmis1 18
I played "my bank account" for that one.
zebralover23 14
ouch. better fix that
anyav3 13
Wow...
Trainzboy 4
I <3 Apples to Apples ! :P
Nanael_fml 4
I'm sure she was just trying to be humorous. I'm also pretty certain she succeeded.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Sounds like your g/f would enjoy Cards Against Humanity. FYL
fuzzySilence 5
Helen Keller!!!