Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "My Sex Life". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML
Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
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Top comments
Yessi_Boo 14
Oh, right in the ego!
newbiehere99 6
#1 - Your comment is pathetic.
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Comments (81)
florido_fml 10
Claver..
herpderpherpderp 13
clover...
smallshaft 10
Clever
Sanrio90 8
She could have put it down because it's funny, though I can see how it'd be awkward. I am never serious in my answers in that game, I just pick the funniest/goofiest ones. Maybe she was doing the same.
kotana191 8
*hint hint
strawberrywine22 30
I wouldn't take it to heart :/ the point of the game is to make jokes. I played "Jennifer Lopez" for "juicy" once, but that doesn't make me a closet lesbian. Also, the cards are read from the judge's point of view so if it won that would make the judge's sex life pathetic, not her own.
annie_nk 23
LOL juciy Jennifer Lopez. I was playing with my family and In a Coma was played for Lazy. I love the outcomes of this game.
hedgehogjawn42 6
The rules of Apple's to Apples say that those cards should be read from the judges pov. So actually it's the judges sex life that's pathetic. And it's just a game. Once the card was' Fat and Sassy', and my cousin put down Yoda and won.
sugarshane007 20
Apples to Apples: Causing hillarious results at the expense of others since the new millenium.
maddygirl820 10
Ouch OP
MindFreakazoid 10
That's the most general comment you can post apart from YDI and FYL. But hey, E for Effort! :D ...that's not the saying? Well it should be.
ICastillo 25
Well Op you have to start flicking the bean a lot better from now on. She threw your ass under the bus.
Callyn 47
1. It's a game. 2. It's a joke. 3. The winning card applies to the person who drew the green card. So get over it.
planetsmurf 6
Maybe do some foreplay for once
TheJerkyMonster 2
Are you suggesting ear sex?