Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "My Sex Life". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML
Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
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Top comments
Yessi_Boo 14
Oh, right in the ego!
newbiehere99 6
#1 - Your comment is pathetic.
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Comments (81)
LexieWins 0
You should have interrupted the game with a sex intermission :)
Caliborn_06 11
According to what I read, seems like a sex intermission would just have made it worse.
j3ebrules 13
The "my" is the person reading it. Fyl for not understanding the simple game.
sophiekat 19
You should fix that :)
BingleBop 18
That comment, your profile picture, and your username, makes an awkward situation...
AlexRen 21
That's when you get home no arguments. Just take her to the room & take her down! Like a Boss!
GlobalGenocide 8
Don't hate the game, hate the players.
cimgrund 1
Oh come on! It was a great card to play. Most of the time, the funniest card played is the one picked! Don't be so pathetic.
pnutbutternjelly 15
It may have been a bad joke on her part, but I'm sure that's all it was, just a shitty joke. I'm sure she didn't mean it to be offensive.
mbuck87 19
You deserve it for not trying harder in bed. Learn how to please yo woman before she finds someone who can. Ask her what she likes and doesn't like
Ameel_fml 19
To be fair, if their sex life is pathetic it isn't only up to the OP to fix it. The girlfriend could use some communication to tell him what she does and doesn't like. So many people expect the other to be a mind-reader in bed, and that's just not how it goes. If your partner is doing something wrong, it's not hard to say "I don't like that. But if you do this instead..."
mbuck87 19
True.
thewife5 19
Maybe she should do something about it. I wouldn't expect my husband to know., I'd just switch up the game to my liking.