Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
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Top comments
evilscorpi 29
better start heading to the gym more often
CHOMP3R 0
Never underestimate a woman.(:
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Comments (133)
mrbattleman 10
domestic abuse should always be reported even if it makes the cops think you're a pussy
ReynshineCutting 10
It's not domestic abuse if thru were playing.
ReynshineCutting 10
**they were. Damn phone.
Shadow9876 19
Did you even read "play-wrestling" #12?
Scands_59 14
Sooooo, she's the man in the relationship?
reddawn85 8
I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Man card revoked
PYLrulz 17
Who are you dating?!? Chyna?!? If so, it's totally understandable.
allard 14
Ah. Old school WWE/WWF/WCW reference. Well done sir, well done indeed.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Or Nikita.
FunwithBumperCar 0
It's okay most of my sex ends that way as well.
cptmorgan6 8
Hmm... I can see how that would happen in the bumper car position.
stewpididiot 11
RUN Forest, RUN !!!
Sammiches 12
How does that relate to the FML? And it's Forrest, just so you know.
staypon 0
Don't hold back next time
QueenSaru 28
This. If women want equality, then be equal. Doesn't mean you need to beat the shit out of her, but if she's going to black your eye and clearly not feel guilty, why should you just take it merely because she's a woman? Assault is assault.
rein 8
wtf. Which part of the FML does it state that op was "holding back"?
karagarren 8
he said he was play wrestling which kind of implies he wasn't trying to be rough
deviable 9
My cousins never held back when they wrestled with me. I still have scars, and so do they.
QueenSaru 28
And lmao at the people giving my comment thumbs down because I don't think us women should be given a free pass for violence.
epicgamer 18
#50, it's nice to see someone that's not biased and believes in true equality unlike the so called "feminists". if they want equality, they shouldn't even call it feminism, they should call it equalism.
vsat207 0
At least you didn't get kicked in the crotch. Count your blessings ;)
leadman1989 16
I'm so dyslexic I read that as **** your blessings lol.
evilscorpi 29
omg he better not ever cheat, that wouls be the end of him haha
NoNotTheFace 8
You were literally pussywhipped.