Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of Santa is to a coworker, and how every parent should tell their kids the truthLies. The intercom microphone was on. I single-handedly told a group of 100 six year-olds that Santa isn't real. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
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Top comments
tari_joon 0
You're an idiot. Why did you lie about who you were on the phone to? You should have said you were talking to a friend.
xxmollyxx 25
What a horrible friend :(
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Comments (84)
Kozzy333 0
I'm telling them Santa doesn't exist either.
redbluegreen 41
I would tell them the spirit of Christmas, not that there's a real fat guy that gives them presents all in one night. Maybe they'll get the difference. Or maybe they'll just get that there's presents involved. You never know until you have kids. And who knows what sort of things you'll get into?
Kozzy333 0
To be fair, I've always wanted to tell a little kid that santa doesn't exist. Am I a horrible person?
RubixMonkey 0
No cause I want to do the same thing. It also means that I get the credit for being the cool person who gives them presents. Who tells their kids a fat man comes down the chimney to give them gifts? How does that stop them from ignoring the fat man in the rapist van with the puppy and the candy?
Jimboom 12
Ahh haaahaahaa. Your friend rules!!! If it had been me I would have said " Well, if your this upset about Santa just wait until you find out about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy". :-P
napero 0
FYL for an idiot friend, although YDI for lying about who you were talking to.
jw90 18
Miley does sound better though redbluegreen.
plexico 4
I figured out Santa wasn't real when I was five. My parents asked me why I thought that and I told them that Santa supposedly had a list of who was naughty and nice. I said, "I got everything I asked for, and I'm a total bastard!" Way to go, lady! Another authority figure browbeating a child into accepting a fantasy as truth, just what the world needs. Thanks for giving the world yet another flat-earth, creationist, supply-sider.
igneel54 0
My parents told me from the start santa wasn't real. And that kid should learn. Storys arent real and never will be. The sooner he knows that the better.
Hermyoni 0
Believing in santa is part of the magic of Christmas. What a dick of a friend for ruining that illusion for the child. I hope you gave them an earful seriously what an ass. I will let my kids believe he exists as long as they want it doesn't hurt them. I'd rather they believed in santa then a mythical man who died on the cross for my sins.
suaveneanderthal 0
honestly, if thats they way you feel then you need not celebrate christmas at all... after all that mythical mans name is kind of in the title of the holiday.
Voids 0
I hate the idea of Santa Claus, all it does is promote the commercialism of Christmas instead of it's true meaning and that dishonesty is a desirable quality.