Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of Santa is to a coworker, and how every parent should tell their kids the truthLies. The intercom microphone was on. I single-handedly told a group of 100 six year-olds that Santa isn't real. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
Today, I was talking to my sister about how I need to buy gifts from Santa for my daughter, when my son asked why I would be buying them instead of letting Santa bring them. My son genuinely still believed in Santa. He’s 22 years old. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
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Top comments
tari_joon 0
You're an idiot. Why did you lie about who you were on the phone to? You should have said you were talking to a friend.
xxmollyxx 25
What a horrible friend :(
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Comments (84)
AnthonyD86 0
1. I think the idea of Santa is stupid and we shouldn't lie to our children 2. if you insist on lying to your child did you at least give your friend a heads up that you were passing the phone over? I still say YDI
Vagrarian 2
YDI for lying to your kid about the phone call. And YDI for feeding your kid all that bullcrap about Santa. You went through all that effort to prove to your kid that Santa is real...so when he finally does figure it out, he's going to look at you and see a liar. Is that what you want? Stop the lies and admit that Santa isn't real.
Cassia_events 0
Wow, I think I must be dyslexic early in the mornings because as I skimmed this fml, I read "Santa" as "Satan" and thought well, gee, that was stupid. No wonder the kid is screaming.
RubixMonkey 0
This is how I see Santa. Its fun when you're a kid to believe you get presents and to be part of the magic, but you are still lying to a kid. Not only did you lie about Santa but you lied about who was on the phone. Your friend is not responsible for catering to your needs when it puts them on the spot. Sure its Santa, but you still asked your friend to lie about something they might not agree with. The friend should have understood the child was young and prone to fits, but this is not the friends fault. I don't think you understand what you are doing to your friend. So here is something to help you understand. You walk into the kitchen and see your husband on the phone. "Who are you talking to?" Your husband looks at you and says, "Uh, Jesus." You get excited thinking the savior of the world is on the phone. Instead it is a friend of your husband's. "Jesus isn't real. Grow up." You burst into tears. Your husband tells you, "Oh no Honey, Jesus exists." But deep inside you know.
tiancai 0
She should've said she was talking to Osamah
Intellectualist 0
santa= a bargaining tool :) you're bad, santa hates you. Conditioning and threats make children behave generally. I'm sure as hell telling my kids he's real, until they work it out for themselves.
Jonr1138 6
for me Santa is real but the way we tell our children is a lie. believing in Santa is believing in the good and generosity (sp?) of humanity. Op - you still deserve it for lying to you kid about who you were on the phone with.
jdannyl 0
No, Santa is not the embodiment of good and generosity. He's a fictional character designed to make children happy. You can't believe in something that doesn't exist, i'm not saying goodness and generosity doesn't exist, but Santa doesn't. You're believing in something that doesn't exist. Usually when someone is saying they believe in things that aren't there, they're locked away and defined crazy. Unless in the case of religion, where crazy people (people who believe in things that don't exist and they have no evidence for it) are allowed to just roam around freely. I believe a kettle made the world, lock me away. I believe a 'god' made the world, no worries. Anyway i just got on one of my 'religion = obsurd' rants, sorry. My point was they aren't really related, it's like saying christmas pudding is the same as the good and generosity of mankind, because it's related to christmas.
icedrake523 2
YDI. You should have just said you were talking to your friend.
FromCFL 0
A child believes in Santa Claus?! What is this world coming to?? I bet all the Anti-Santas posting here were crushed when they realized Santa was a mythological figure--when they were about 14 years old. Seriously, though, just what is so wrong with instilling in a child a sense of magic
cani_fml 0
you suck for making your friend talk to a 4yr on the phone. your friend sucks for doing that to you. so really everyone involved is shite