Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, I went straight from a kickboxing class to a first date. I coughed and a tooth that must have been knocked loose during free sparring fell into my hand, and I got blood on my shirt and the table. My date had a blood phobia and passed out, breaking her own front tooth on the table edge FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
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Top comments
Vehicle 1
one time my nose randomly started bleeding when I was making out with someone and we just laughed about it. if she is worth your time she will understand.
RedPillSucks 33
you bloody idiot
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Comments (169)
capnbzarr 43
Could be worse--you could be Stan Marsh. At least blood doesn't smell as bad as vomit. Pretty funny, though.
BrittanyBamWooo 0
42 WTF XD hahahha
artisticninja713 13
From a nerds pov that is so win.
j5p332 6
dude, get your blood pressure checked...
blahzz 4
So when you go down on her is that shit gonna pour outta your nose like a flood?
WTFuckles 0
Shove a tampon up your nose next time, it's great for nosebleeds.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#100 Actually, they really are! They're meant to be absorbent (obviously), so they do the trick...
alienbread 0
could be worse you could have farted in her ear.
Ju99ernaut94 0
it wouldve been ironic if her name was Mary lol Bloody Mary
snoopcatt12 0
I hate to say it but i must.... "white people"
foreverspellman 0
hmm... just tell her your nose was manstrating. I'm sure she will understand. just explain that guys are different, instead of bleeding out through the vajayjay like girls, we bleed through our faces from time to time.