Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
At least that's all you had on you. But now your Halloween costume is incomplete.
sscookie 13
that could have gone a lot worse...
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Comments (58)
skyeyez9 25
Too bad you didn't ram that badge into one of their eye sockets.
sanecatlady 13
Much better than killing you out of sheer frustration because you had nothing valuable to steal.
C0mmanderKeen 9
thats hillarious! x) alltough I feel bad for you for being robbed but at least you didnt lose something really important.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
I moderated this!! :)
happyfingers 15
So... Why exactly were you carrying nothing but a plastic police badge?? But hey, I mean, that could have been a lot worse. Be happy you left unharmed :P
Likian5 26
What concerns me most about this FML is that a girl wrote it...
squideth 18
...And why exactly would that concern you? Are you afraid of girls?
awilliams44 9
I would have yelled FBI and pretended to arrest them
the_lameo_geek 8
They didn't take the badge, I still have it. I was shopping with my mom and I needed to pee so I went to the bathroom and this happened. I thought I had grabbed my phone, but I grabbed a plastic star instead. How did I make that mistake? I have no idea. Oops.
XypherDubstep 8
Hey at least you didn't lose a phone or a wallet! That's good!
swanheart 35
That's true! Gotta think positive! :)
randome101 12
You should've said "Do you know who I am?" Then pulled out the badge and walked out backwards.