Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
Today, I spent 10 minutes passionately explaining a concept on the board while the class was unusually quiet. When I turned around, half the students were trying not to laugh. I had written the entire explanation with a marker that was completely dried out. The board was blank. I essentially gave a TED Talk to a wall. FML
Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML
Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML
Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML
Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML
Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Public schools are doing a fine job I see.
infamoushack 10
The "no child left behind" program at its finest!
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Comments (150)
friedpwnadge 25
Public schools are doing a fine job I see.
jman26 11
Let's face it. There's no hope for humanity anymore :/
edris_305 21
They mist be drunk from the party they were in last night and couldnt answer it correctly
CallMeWindSock 24
Time to get out the McDonald's applications.
cmac86 24
McDonalds probably wouldn't take them because they'd get the bacon and sausage wet.
283leis 8
I think you're getting confused. Public schools are the good school boards and the catholic ones are shit here in Canada.
BelfastNuts 15
Catholic schools are shit in canada! They are the bomb in Ireland. You should write to the pope and complain...
LeFrogDog 27
Maybe home schooled?
fymother 13
A sinking tide lowers all boats. This is what happens when you cut funding in absurd amounts.
JackFaire 27
Honestly still remembering my school experience I blame the students. All of my junior high and High school classes I heard over and over, "we will never need this when are going to need this" followed by a definite lack of learning. Now when I whip out knowledge that is general education 101 I look like a genius to morons with college degrees while I have only a high school diploma.
Emma Marshall 19
Public? All schools are ******
infamoushack 10
The "no child left behind" program at its finest!
hunteryager 18
The OP is from Canada...
iKon0014 3
#10 is right to the best of my knowledge that program doesn't exist in Canada, nice try though
buckdharma 38
Do they have McDonalds.
Autosaver 15
McDonalds is worldwide.
ThatFancyPenn 18
The comment two above me is such an idiot -.-
CharresBarkrey 16
52 - The comment two below the second comment above yours is pretty bad too.
pinkdino911 9
*face-palm*
ThePK 5
I know one college professor that if you wrote such a poor essay along with a plethora of grammatical mistakes, she would return the paper with an application to McDonald's stapled to it. Just a possibility.
LiterOfCola 16
52: the comment is an idiot? Lol..
love_me_electric 20
We don't call it "No Child Left Behind", but we have basically the same thing in Canada (at least until you get to high school). My brother failed 6 out of 8 of his grade 8 classes and he still graduated middle school. Now he's ****** because he's in high school and doesn't know a lot of the basics. It's stupid, you need to make sure kids understand the foundation before you start shoving new material down their throats. If that means they repeat a year, so be it.
kelseydianee 11
Our future looks bright with these new minds soon taking the job market!
lennelleong 33
To be fair though, i don't think McDonalds employees or the typical blue or white-collar worker would need to know about which genus classification is our frozen food coming from. (:
hemz_fml 13
This university has high standards.
Stylux_fml 16
My whole life has been a lie?!
timelessone 16
No, only parts of it.
Stylux_fml 16
What if I had been raised by pig-sharks?
roxxyfoxxy3 25
That depends...do they have lungs?
Stylux_fml 16
that depends... are you referring to the shark half or the pig half?
ajaj26 12
Community college??
CharresBarkrey 16
"University students..."
sunflowerchild 10
Shouldn't students in universities have at least some common sense?
vipirius 18
Yes, that's probably why this is on FML.
blankjack 6
Obviously no... They should put captchas on applications to filter these people..
Archay 13
Thank god this wasnt in the United States
QQMorePlox 18
Wouldn't want to look any worse than you guys already do.
rememberkids 14
I'm surprised it wasn't american. but then again, if these kids came from the "bible belt of Canada", I wouldn't be surprised that they are incredibly stupid.
TheDrifter 24
The Bible belt of Canada? Where exactly might that be? I've been here 30 years and never heard the expression.
threer 30
Stop hating on the U.S., all of you dipshits. We're not stupid as a whole. You're not exactly showing off your 'superior intellect' by being crass and stereotyping others..
rocker_chick105 31
^money
lordslaya53 14
'nada
_DudeGuy_ 16
Alright, everyone stop hating on America, we're not all stupid. I recently turned 14 so I took the MENSA test. At the age of just 14, I managed to earn a spot in "the high IQ society". I've gone to public school my entire life.
rocker_chick105 31
90- touching story, but what about the kids who got a low score? America, like every nation, has smart and dumb people. We just expose the dumb ones more.
berossm 7
#90, IQ has nothing to do with education. If public schools worked better you might know that.
604 11
Sharknado!!
jkmartinjk 16
Hmm, if all the students were confused on that, maybe the teacher has something to do with it... Jk OP, you got a class of dim wits this year.
arleenxo 11
Is it bad I didn't know sharks don't have lungs?
zeuslovesyaoi 17
what did you think the little cuts on the side of its face was? its ******?
domking1315 20
Okay i was beginning to think that I was the only one that didn't know. You're not alone #12
graceinsheepwear 34
17, the cuts are from the pigs' hooves as they outswim the sharks.
CVTTRVN 19
Damn no need to be all sassy haha
emblondie 7
I thought I was the only one...
TehGinga94 21
I'm a university student, and I didn't know either.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Honestly, how did you guys not know this?
ZeroPath5 16
These comments made me sad...how do you not put it all together? A shark is a fish. Fish have gills. Therefore, sharks have gills. That's second grade stuff.
DorkAlert 10
Umm those cuts which are part of its gills aren't on the face.
vocaloidtiger 12
Sharks technically don't even HAVE legitimate faces. It was just an expression...
shan88 14
I'm the same. I always assumed that water went through the gills and the oxygen from the water was filtered through to the lungs. I really didn't know that animals with gills didn't have lungs. I don't feel stupid for this, I love learning new things :)