Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alkanechain 0
You got c**kblocked by a p***y?
tigrouficele2012 44
Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
me5 0
Cats
me5 0
Cats and Tigers seem to rule among females nowadays!
Tigg3r 3
that's because girls like the way they are independant. Girls are realizing they don't need to buy the whole hog to get a little bit of meat. I mean I love my baby dog to death but if I had to choose well first I wouldn't choose but I would choose the cat. Even though he gives me the evil eye sometimes. O_o
jimmerthehoft1 3
Best comment on this story.
mhmowned 0
Don't worry your girlfriend just has ADD, its all gooood
colonelduckie 5
You are the one with the cat, the rule all
darkmis1 18
the more you pet a cat tho, the more it'll come up to you to be petted lolz gotta love cats
YOULIVETODIE 0
Your cat just ****-Blocked you. *Take notice in locking your room door to prevent further ****-blocking from house-pets.*
kiko1544463 0
I've seen this a lot, just hope my gf doesn't do the same thing and shes in love with cats!
Yarrachel 16
Glad you got that ;)
rcola777 0
****-blocked by a pussy, sucks to be you
Anteezy 7
Pet her pussy to return the favor.