Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
alkanechain 0
You got c**kblocked by a p***y?
tigrouficele2012 44
Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.
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Comments (116)
flyintonite 0
Cats are cool... no fml here.
BlackWolfVII 0
Soooo...you just got cockblocked by a pussy?
CJ090 0
U douchebag I was about 2 say that lolz
icedrake523 2
YDI. Guys aren't supposed to have cats.
joanjett 0
Cats are ******* adorable. And the ladies love it.
little_otter 0
yeah, your life is a horrific tangle of distress and agony isn't it, submitter?
NotVeryOriginal 0
no more "**** blocked by a pussy" jokes #6 beat you ******* to the punch
little_otter 0
HEY GUYS, IS THIS WHERE I COME TO POST A CLEVER PUSSY JOKE??
Yarrachel 16
I call fake. This happened to my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate 42 years ago. You stole this story!!
Subtext 10
Nice :)
Thefog 0
At least she got some pussy
iljajlm 4
This is a completely stupid FML. It's not an FML at all. God forbid you stop making out with your girlfriend for a few minutes. Now if she said "This cat is cuter than you, I'm dumping you and taking him with me." and ran out of the room now THAT'S an FML. But this? No. It's stupid.
GreenRupee 0
*sigh* Yeah, so? She probably likes the cat, that's all. My last girlfriend couldn't stop to cuddle my dog. FYL just because you didn't have sex? Grow up.