Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
alkanechain 0
You got c**kblocked by a p***y?
tigrouficele2012 44
Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.
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Comments (116)
Ky_123 0
f**k yo cat h*
XxPLAYMAKERxX 0
You should of have started playing with "her" cat....O_o
fakepolice 0
****... Blockin... B1tch!!! That's 4 for Dave!!!
fakepolice 0
Fml iPhone apps suck... Hard
NotVeryOriginal 0
tsk tsk tsk your girlfriend stroked the pussy before you did
TrollTrollTroll 0
I JUST HAD A ******!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tigg3r 3
and the world needs to know this because? tranquilizer anyone?
Condie31 0
**** blocked by your own kitty... dang
tigrouficele2012 44
Awwwwwww. So cute! Sorry, I just have a thing for kitty cats. Looks like your girlfriend does too. Lighten up.
myfriend_youfail 3
Rule 14 of owning pets: If you want to have sex or make out with your partner, SHUT THE DOOR.
wh4t3v3R 0
Seriously, been there, if you don't appease the cat it will often start playing with anything flopping about, or you know how they like to sit on a book your trying to read? Yeah, this could have been way worse, just close the door.
myfriend_youfail 3
"anything flopping about" My mind just went to somewhere filthy as I imagined the kitty going all ninja-attack-warrior on the guy's exposed shlong. xD
helloxmygoodbye 0
True, but shutting the door wouldn't stop my cat. If my door is shut and he wants in he will just paw at it until I either throw something at the door or open it.
Ameronot 14
It is VERY true! Only problem is that my cat can open my door...
MrJentipede 2
catblocked
chedgefa 0
either that or she's bi. In which case, fun times