Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML
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Top comments
6tori6 5
yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...
HandaPitler 1
Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way
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Comments (140)
ViviMage 40
I'm a girl and I know men usually have a reflex action, and a gentleman can ignore it when required.
Raesin 21
You're obviously a very young girl. A penis doesn't ask permission to get hard, it just does and judging from this FML, OP was 'being a gentleman', it was his girlfriend that fondled his crotch and got angry when it was hard. It wouldn't surprise me if you were OPs girlfriend.
nnnope 26
I'm a girl and I know you're an idiot.
love_me_electric 20
The whole point of a reflex is that you can't control it. You can't grab a guy's dick and then get mad when he gets hard. It's like tickling someone and getting mad when they laugh.
misataylor86 10
How dare you have an erection while making out with her hand on your crotch!! ;-)
MissAmz 7
Of course you're going to get a boner. It's a normal human response to stimulation! I know that 90% of boners guys get are purely involuntary.
ClippersFan310 4
Well at least you.don't have E.D!
kodaskye 5
This stuff seriously makes me mad. For one, why was she going for your crotch if she didn't want it to go anywhere? Secondly, I would be way more pissed if my guy didn't get a bonar when I was kissing him! Thirdly, it is very rude to make someone feel bad for their sex drive. I have a very low sex drive, and my partner has an abnormally high sex drive. If I don't need any attention I will just take care of her and we're both happy.
WeskersSexslave 15
I'm pretty sure her panties are wet. what a hypocrite
p36288 17
Why not put ur finger into her crotch, do the sameand say the same
lowshadows 21
just say "its gotta mind of its own"
ThisGuysSkills 5
today I was making out with my girlfriend then She sucked my dick
pipinya 8
Bitches be crazy, OP!