Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
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Top comments
Whytetrash 21
Having sex with your dad and his friends in the house? Awkward enough already
oj101 33
You could always tell them that your boyfriend was scratching your back to help you relax.
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Comments (144)
misspennycakes 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So in other words your so disrespectful that you can't wait till your in private to **** your boyfriend.
yoursucklives 36
my parents don't think it's disrespectful if i have sex in my room. the rather have me do it there than somewhere in public or whatever.
rocker_chick105 31
for the love of grammar, *you're
spazz666 18
*sigh* I though FML was past the stage of calling someone disrespectful for having sex in THEIR ROOM. Please, tell me what's so disrespectful about it. I beg of you.
Crystal55621 19
11, you're kind of an idiot.
vladimirnabokov 15
I think it's kind of rude to have sex while parents/family members are home. nothing wrong with having sex in your house while no one is home. I guess there's nothing wrong with it if everyone is asleep either. but…when they're wide awake and walking around, it's kind of awkward and uncomfortable. it's hard to ignore your 18 year old daughter getting it on just down the hall.
ilovehim_1610 3
Why do people thumb down some things and not others... Follow the crowd much ??
notjanedoe 27
A quick thinker would have continued with 'push harder, that dresser is damn heavy.' And later told everybody a nice story about how bofriend is sweet enough to help redecorate your room.
jcrb 11
but then she would have to redecorate her room.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Brilliant. Want to see a magic trick? Here's your boyfriend... POOF! Now he's gone. Cool eh?
hunny797 5
Or perhaps a magic wand to unspeak the spoken
spazz666 18
#24; like all of your comments?
hunny797 5
Spazz got a problem???
10showgirl 16
In most cases it's the magic wand that makes a boyfriend vanish. (pregnancy test stick.)
5t3ff1k4h 47
I bet the father won't be so eager to allow him back.
hunny797 5
Did u afterall had an ******??
spazz666 18
Did u afterall learned English?
hunny797 5
By the way, I got an 8.0 in my IELTS last month.
middlecyclone 5
72 - I am an English teacher so I know what IELTS is....but it's not important to anyone who is not a student or an EAL teacher. Also, with your sentence structure and grammar here, I would think you are much lower than a benchmark 8.
hunny797 5
Thank God the examiners were not as dumb...
ittybitttyme 8
Shut up
SomeDeadRabbits 8
Wow. I hope you feel accomplished and heroic about ******** on someone's comment. At least you were able to know what he was trying to say.
gaara1989 6
HARDER!!! HARDER!!! HARDEST!!! Ooops!!! Honey, u just break the wall.
hunny797 5
U mean broke???
Enslaved 38
You meant "have"??? in 23, right :P
supportcommand 17
I pictured them smashing through the drywall Kool-Aid man style, then the boyfriend saying "OH YA!!!!"
kchumber 7
Nice
Myo_fml 20
If you're still doing it in your parents' house, then you're too young to be making love. You're just having sex.
SevenZee 5
That is horribly stereotypical and rather offensive. You're an idiot if you believe age, a /number/ defines the ability to make love. Most of the time young people having sex is just casual sex, and they end up ******* a lot of other guys. That's true, but not all. I was not one of those people and I can assure you, me and my boyfriend made love, not just had regular old sex.
lisaonastick 7
At what age precisely can you start making love, then? When do you break the "sex barrier?" I'm curious.
mkimbee 9
Oh boy, right on with that one! Like, totally, your age is just a number and like, woah. If you're ready, you're ready homie! Don't matter if you're 12 or 112, make that sweet sweet love. I mean, really, guy? I'm pretty sure that in every place in the world (Arkansas excluded), no dad wants to hear their teenage daughter getting against the wall boned-- especially with company over.
SillyGirl4602 23
I am 25 and I still live at home because I want to finish school first. I will not have sex with my boyfriend if my parents are home. I am not too young to have sex and we do make love. You are just assuming that op is a teenager.
perdix 31
Wait, you are usually listening to your dad and his friends while you are ******* your boyfriend? You are a kinky freak. So, . . . what's your number? ;)
Quizzical 8
Sometimes a woman's mind can wander during sex. In this case it was innocently noticing background sounds. Other times it may be "what will I have for lunch tomorrow?"
ChibiChibi_fml 28
and that right there is the precise reason that it is so damn hard to make a woman ******. It's impossible to overwhelmed by the pleasure if you are busy thinking of something else.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Actually our minds wander when you are bad at whatever you are doing. If you were good in bed we'd be easier to get off.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
You did notice I'm a girl right? My guy is quite good in bed and there are still a lot of times where my mind wanders. I've been on the brink of ****** and just happen to notice something that suddenly makes me think "I need to do those dishes" or some stupid thing like that.
ultra_notorious 26
against the wall is awesome, especially with the little chicks!!!
perdix 31
#37, yeah, but with the big gals, it's quite a workout!
spliit_fml 8
Bad idea OP never have sex when your father is home. Awkward situation
karlcolt45 19
doesn't matter, had sex