Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me, "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?" I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, to which he responded, "No, probably not." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, after laying down to sleep, my boyfriend seemed like he was having trouble trying to say something. After asking what was wrong a couple of times, he said, "I don't want to do this anymore" and got up and left. I had planned on telling him I love him. Saved myself some embarrassment I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
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Top comments
callmecourtney 3
YDI. If you didn't want to have sex, then you should have told him that you wouldn't have sex.
Igor_g5 0
You offered it. He took it.
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Comments (133)
danielle25 15
uum okaay. thats really weird. why were u dreaming you had penis?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Dreams are subconscious and can't be controlled. They're also often symbolic. Oh, and you're on the wrong FML.
danielle25 15
oops sorry! haha :)
ice_firefly 0
u shud just dump him
nitemare0 17
stop testing the man and admit you deserve it
TaNmKm 0
Rape!
Nroutt0923 0
eewwww 27 black people sex
mintcar 10
Ew? You're pretty retarded. Not to mention, galling too. By the way, my boyfriend is white. Next time don't assume.
sallen0046 4
You're an idiot. You told him to have at it, so he did. If you didn't want him to touch you, you should have flat out said so, not told him he could if he wanted to. You got exactly what you asked for, and could not deserve it more.
sexygummybear13 0
29 you are a ****** asswipe! yeah it was slurry I guess but not rele and your a dick for saying so! sorry been called a **** many times...in 6th grade...don't wanna talk about it ok? ha
WickedWendigoX 0
you asked for it fucktard
j4ym4n 2
you should refuse and after a while he will "go hang with the guys at the pub" and come back relieved...
PazBANG 0
uhm.. 24 what's your uncle killing himself got to with having sex? are you after sympathy. if so write your own fml and gtfo
SirDirtyRedD 15
You my friend are a dbag, if your a girl and someone close to you recently passed do you think your really in the mood to drop yournpanties and spread your legs for some a hole whonhas no respect for you? If your lookin to bitch out someone for no reason just look in a mirror.