Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
dupot420 9
We need a pic to prove you are not a poker.
graceinsheepwear 34
A poker? Wish a pic could prove that you are not a dumbshit.
RedPillSucks 33
Probably meant porker.
YourVoiceofReasn 6
He was probably much less confused with the Rubik's Cube.
umpduck11 9
It's either: A: he had already banged someone else; B: he had jerked it; or 3) you aren't attractive.
martin8337 36
Well, one of two things, either OP is fat or her boyfriend is gay.
worldclassrager 41
It's a start things will pick up...maybe he thought starting things would be pulsing like his cube...
pedinhuh 23
Can't blame him, those damn cube are so mindfucking that the more you fail at it, the more you want to solve it!! Whoever came up with that thing must be a evil mastermind!
KarateCuber 2
He'll F2L your OLL if you CLL his PLL! Dirty cubing lingo talk ;)
AnonForAReason 11
He probably thought it was easier to handle.
AnonForAReason 11
An easier puzzle to solve?
martin8337 36
Either OP is fat or her boyfriend is gay.