Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
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Top comments
kportal69 5
that sucks. I've broken a bed. you just have to laugh and keep going which I'm sure was your intent but clearly not hers. keep up with that ****.
Miss_Michaela 10
Next time you go out on the pull: "Hey there, little lady. I've been known to break a few beds".
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Comments (149)
kportal69 5
that sucks. I've broken a bed. you just have to laugh and keep going which I'm sure was your intent but clearly not hers. keep up with that ****.
juicedboi 7
I genuinely feel bad for you. Better luck next time. I am sure you will be re-enforcing your bed with industrial steel girders now.
ImaWiseGuy 5
was your playful wrestling move a choke slam thru the bed by any chance?
urdirtyolduncle 15
**** blocked by broken legs
dcam13 19
sorry bro that blows, ahah even though she didn't..
seanders 10
Yeah you need a sturdy bed to pull off Macho Man's elbow drop from the ceiling fan.
jmtmxer 0
use the floor next time!
Lucidium 0
I'm on a 16 year dry-spell...
GotYourDoom 0
Coming from the person with their pic as a planet, that doesn't surprise me.
stef108 3
should've just laughed it off and kept going ;)
lexi365 20
#89, that's just mean haha
humorizer 14
I know what a "planet as their pic" means... but a "pic as their planet"? I'm imagining a large painting floating about in the voids of space, orbiting the sun Lunaris. Also, that's definitely the moon and some sort of aurora.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
104: I'm guessing he's 16 years old.
GigglePony 13
#!03, I applaud you.
Blazingcrono 6
Reread it #103. "Their pic as a planet", not "their pic as their planet."
cldean24 4
fail 117
Eggers 2
76- that's cause your 16
jonlocke7 0
just keep it going. rekindle the mood.
whiteboy7thst 2
You could not re-light that fire with a blowtorch.
fabrizio_fml 0
well it sounds like the bed was pretty dry, it prolly would be good kindling.
coolkid_matt 11
13 - Are you whiteboy7thst from youtube? :D
velocicrapter 1
and the beat goes on.... :P
kingtz 6
I bet it wasn't so "dry" after she left...
Brohemoth 0
Umm... No
xoCOURTNIEox 0
laugh it off & keep it going !!!
Bizenghastly 0
nonconsentual? that's called rape hon ^_^
xoCOURTNIEox 0
haha please tell me how that would be rape, she is obviously interested in op & I don't think just cause the bed collapsed that it should ruin the mood, maybe make it a bit more challenging but that's the fun of it!
jordangregs 3
i would break my bed with you ;)
Bizenghastly 0
wow 87 way to be Internet perv-status ^_^ & 80 I completely agree w. you, a broken bed shouldn't be a cockblocker however ops date obviously thought so. tht being said, if op continued as you suggested it would be w/o her consent (definition of nonconsensual) which would indeed make it rape ^_^ mmkks?
Igor_g5 0
I agree with Courtnie. Didn't stop me and my GF.
rebelvamp420 14
hey courtnie how do I get ahold of you?? and yes FML I don't know you, but man would I love to ;)
thatguy326 0
Courtnie, I love u Say it shouldn't ruin the mood just make things more kntredting and more of a challenge ..... Marry me?
alpaquette91 9
did you call her fat because that usually ruins the mood...
alaskasfml 0
maybe in a round about way. "well thats never happened before! -looks at her with judging eyes-" she wasn't supposed to catch on!
Miss_Michaela 10
Next time you go out on the pull: "Hey there, little lady. I've been known to break a few beds".
5chadenfreude 6
nice profile pic lol
JackXsss 8
if a girl would say that to me i would be the happiest man in the world
Bizenghastly 0
#9-I'm in love w your picture ^_^ pure brilliance
jmtmxer 0
26- if a girl said that to you I'm pretty sure she's callin you a girl .... not sure why that would make you happy , unless........
sixfoot2 0
lmao!! that's kinda funny but you gotta be able laugh it off like the previous have said and keep the fire alive.
Calyx_fml 22
It wasn't the beds fault. You could have laughed it off and had hot sex on the broken bed. YDI.
CateXOX 0
It was probably his partner's choice to quit.
GDIalex 11
If he managed to get to the bed with her, I believe there was no troubles with continuing for a partner. I mean, after some interlude again... Well, I think that OP just failed to get her back to the right mood.
StormGirl142 24
The bed, the floor, a couch, the shower-anywhere really.
LordGoober 13
79- I like the way you think lol
zowieandzander77 1
OP perhaps you are having a dry spell because you say douch bag things like " things heated up nicely in the bedroom"....
guckylynn 19
How is that a douche bag thing? I thought it was putting it eloquently.
jadee000 0
I love the way this was worded
GDIalex 11
The same thing I was thinking! Very inordinary FML, by the way. And yes, it made me imagine everything in bright colors, so that I really felt his disappointment.