Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
teenagedream13 1
ooo. that sucks.
LissaMccracken 23
Then click "I agree, your life sucks"... That's a pointless comment.
fredforever_fml 0
And that is when you dump his sorry ass
big_boi_rollin 0
Thats when you say " You know...im only in this relationship for the sex too"
tecktonik123 0
that's stupid then why would she express her feelings rather than get it on ? FAIL -_-
Cinn_fml 23
Either take the hint, or try talking to him about what you both want from the relationship and/or check that he's not just kidding around thinking he's been cute with that response.
fliplover 8
If you didn't leave his loser ass after he said that to you the second time, you are a doormat with no self esteem who deserves the crappy treatment he is giving you! No sympathy here...
sourgirl101 29
*SINGS* More than words is all you have to do to make it real Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 'Cause I'd already know
russianspy1234 11
And the fact that you keep humping AND keep saying you love him is only serving to reinforce this behavior, both with you and with the next girl he dates.
Panther1983 0
Less lovin, more humping. And while your at it make him a damn sammich female
krez 20
It is amazing how many women fall in love with an imaginary version of their boyfriend. They seem to confuse "cool and confident" with "a-hole that uses you".
higgy6969 7
Amen
perdix 31
Next time you feel like talking, just shut up and go make a sammich. Either resign yourself to a vow of silence, or try to trade up to a non-asshole.