Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML
Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
Today, I found out from some guy that he and my wife had been having an affair for over year. She confessed to everything, and said they had already broken it off. She also admitted that she would've never mentioned it to me if I'd never found out on my own. FML
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
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Top comments
be_you_tiful 8
step 1. always be sure to clear browsing history.
SkoomaKi 28
Well leave the history page up and search "how to kill and hide your wife's body without being caught". That'll teach her.
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Comments (284)
be_you_tiful 8
step 1. always be sure to clear browsing history.
THExistentialist 13
step two: threaten wife with gun-shaped lighter and demand answers!
derkster 6
Step 3- don't cheat ;)
Roevera 14
Step 3: kill the bastard she's thinking about having an affair with.
UnLuck3y 5
Step 4- Profit
xvenom7 0
Step 6: **** someone hot!! ;)
berichsoon 11
Step 5: google the best place to bury a dead body
Ismaeldaboss 1
Step 6. Buy a spitting alpaca
LSS_fml 18
Siri can tell you where to hide a dead body!
hotPinklipstick 24
81- I've asked Siri that before her response was shocking. She gave me the address of two dumping sites and a construction site.
Forlorn420 9
I never knew how many steps there were for cheatin. It's brilliant! Especially the alpaca.
ohmandapants 17
41- unless the guy knows she's married, it's not his fault and he shouldn't have to suffer just because OP's wife is a cheating *****.
DracoSpirita 21
89 - You completely made my day.
greenmen 12
Forgot to mention searching isn't a crime!
hqbrat 8
Especially with ****
Danads 2
You just ruined it and killed the joke
wannaplay 1
Step 7- Buy a Pizza Cutter
FunSized88 10
Lol yeah good idea
MaddiRae 9
81- I'm wondering why you asked siri that.. Hiding something? ;)
MaddiRae 9
89* not 81. My bad :)
ajeppsen 25
You saw that fml?
thenoobftw 3
Step 8: Escape to Mexico while eating a a taco.
nado13579 12
Step 9: Act like it never happened if people ask.
ananonymousguy 0
Step 10: repeat......?
taco_bender 12
After getting the llama you go straight to step 8. Lets go to mexico!! Arriba arriba!!
kyarush 10
With Quagmire, giggity!
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
That's step one for quite a few things ;)
Link5794 18
Step 11: Have the damn affair already. Be sure to put your alpaca to use here.
idntwannaknow 3
-66 You do realize you skipped step 5, right?
CplSambo 1
because shes an underpants gnome
doglover100 29
That's crazy. Siri could tell you how to do anything even illegal
jbuckets_404 39
But I don't know anybody named Al Paca, only his brother Bob Paca. :-(
jbuckets_404 39
#89: Only TWO sites?! Siri's not trying very hard, is she?
jonnied23 20
Now you should search "1-800-SLAP-A-HOE".
Nightwing98 22
You should search for better jokes...
Zomg_Okay 27
What harm have hoes done him? There's nothing in the FML about injuring himself while farming or gardening.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
2 - *Ho (First-time grammar Nazi)
ant1078 7
Congrats elderTrollz
satansdaughter90 0
It's 1-800-CHOKE-DAT-HOE
Skills69 0
Why would you search a number dumbass
littlemissalex 3
2 would have an easier time finding good jokes if he was a Hufflepuff.
ohmandapants 17
^ what? Hufflepuffs aren't exactly renowned for their humour...
syki 22
No, but they are exceptionally good Finders.
MoonPhase123 4
Well, it's obvious now that you have to confront her about this.
icrest80 4
This fml has already been posted on here....
perdlx 2
Ydi for not satisfying her.
Donat96 20
Time for a divorce!
littlenumber8 8
Entertaining to hear teenagers give their views on how a married man should divorce based on a single post. Keep up the good work everyone! I'll definitely keep you in mind if I need marital advice...
HeartOfLead 24
Well congratulations OP, you might have been able to stop her before she started!
Torva_fml 16
I would've just re-oPened the search, and left it on the screen. Troll that attempting-cheater...? Bitch. (not sure how the hell I should word that...)
ladyLALAA 29
Print screen and email it to yourself as evidence...
abcd165 0
hey I love that show your profile pic is off of lol go excaliber! soul eater is awesome
xIBleedPurplex16 0
Wow I'm sorry:/ divorce her ASAP.
lukep135 6
Because divorce is always the answer any time problems come up >.>
SkoomaKi 28
4 - Divorce shouldn't be considered before OP confronts his wife. Unlikely as it may be, it could be a joke on her part, or she is planning to have an affair.
Cad6 24
It is still April so...
shannonreneee 11
Doesn't mean the relationship isn't repairable.
Dlakerguy13 6
Thumbs down just for having a douche picture haha
xXxIracebethxXx 14
129 - Bieber is her inspiration. I thumbed her down for that.
nofearjenshere 12
I thumbed her down because everyone else was doing it, damn peer pressure.
LolCakes111 7
Have you seen any of the psychological experiments on peer pressure or authority? Some of them can get pretty scary.
Nothingson1864 0
Have you ever been through a divorce? Not exactly a snap of the finger solution, nor anywhere close to the best one.
itsgen 16
I'd want to diverse my spouse if he was ******* planning on cheating! C'mon planning it?? Idk what other great ways to loose someone's trust completely
CatchMe25 16
Or it could be that OP's wife is searching for a friend who believes that her husband is having an affair but doesn't know what signs to look for. *nancy drew*
haw008 14
You are obviously insecure if you are searching your computers history.
Ravena1213 0
How does that make him insecure? Maybe he was looking for a website he recently viewed but couldn't remember the name of.
dmmcintyre3 8
Looking for a page you visited last week makes you insecure?
deOrca 8
I search my history all the time to find a page that I looked at before but forgot to bookmark. Don't make assumptions. EDIT: Ha, 2 people beat me to it.
haw008 14
Ok people, ok.
C94_ 0
How does that make you insecure? Waoh....
imabeastmofukka 5
Woooooow so he catches his wife and hes insecure. How bout considering the ****** **** whos wanting to have an affair insecure. She obviously needs another dick to feel better about herself. Looks like someone has an insecure future ahead of them.
itsawonderland 2
Do you not look through your browsing history,? For I am sure we all do & that's sign of insecurity. -.-
aclumsypolarbear 2
So I guess you just assumed that since he found that, that meant he went into the browsing history looking for evidence that she is cheating?
zayn_malik 4
Umm would you like to explain how searching your history makes you insecure? Everybody checks theirs.... :) lmfao
doctorhook86 25
Don't stop, gang! #6 needs to know how foolish she was on the Internet...about the Internet. Wow, layers of humor!
thiscrazything 1
Damn, people, you know there is a good chance he had an idea of something wrong in his relationship and was looking for clues from where his wife had been. Not everyone is innocent. Also, most affairs, there is more than one person who holds all of the blame.
1crabbygirl 10
Wow, not angry much.
lilpowers 3
Ya that's it.
hugsnkissesforu 0
I don't see how checking your computer history is insecure, I'm not sure if you meant something different and used the wrong word but like 14 said, the reason he was checking it probably wasn't to snoop, just to re visit a website
luckyd880 12
What OP needs to do now is google "divorce attorney and states law on adultery during marriage" and then leave the page open for wife to see. She will never think twice again about cheating.
bobsanchez13 0
No you idiot he was just making sure all his **** was deleted duh :p
xplainphrox 8
I often check my pc's history to see if I've been to a website that I'd like to revisit!
vintage3113 6
Uhh...I'm pretty sure there can't be more than ONE person holding ALL of the blame..
SillyLilly6686 2
You're obviously retarded just In general.
sarahlouise0506 10
Is she trying to hint? Poor guy op
BradTheBrony 19
I... I-I was searching it for a friend...?
TheElderTROLLZ 15
"I was searching it for my other husb- I mean friend, I swear!" OP: *Bitch-slap*
SkoomaKi 28
Well leave the history page up and search "how to kill and hide your wife's body without being caught". That'll teach her.
mickypequi 13
Or "how to catch your wife cheating"
fatcow282 8
Lol
SpottedZebra42 14
It'll teach her to carry a concealed weapon around at all times, that's for sure!
Nothingson1864 0
Uhhhh....abusive threats are no solution to marriage crisis.
schindler12345 24
That would probably get the cops called on him.
GreenAppleDP 0
Well, I guess now you can give her her first lesson. Sorry OP.
sarahlouise0506 10
Give a lesson to Ur wife about having an affair? Am I missing something...
Zomg_Okay 27
Yes, you are. He's saying he could teach her, as part of her first lesson, to delete her History.
GreenAppleDP 0
Thank you, 39. That was exactly what I was meaning.
Webslinger66 10
Beat her to it.