Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
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Top comments
Jaucet 0
Well at least your parents are funny!
mitch707 0
Atleast your Mum has faith in you.
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Comments (117)
famouslove 0
Well, at least your parents believe you when you say "no"! :P
shewasalmost18 0
well, they severely bruised your self-esteem which might not exist anymore :(
Marcus86 0
How old are you anyhow? I mean it would be completely different if your only 14. Then they should be glad.
littlegolferboy 4
Agreed. If you're anything younger than 18 then this is hardly an FML.
bella808 0
That's hilarious! I wish I had fun parents like that!
live_4_life 0
haha! i wish my parents had had a sense of humor! you should be proud OP, not embarassed!
kelseyx66 0
hahaha that is soooo funny.
thabeast 0
this all depends on your age...
xbelovedx 0
if i could go back and not have sex i would. im 21, ive had sex with over 50 girls since i first had sex at 17 and i have a sexual appetite that would make ron jeremy seem gay. its something that can end up consuming your relationships. so if that was my mom or day, id be like **** you both and snatch that 20 dollar bill and go buy yourself some pizza.
CJ090 0
oh wow that is something
ArthursLifeSucks 2
I'm calling BS on this one.
AAAAHHHH12 2
Me too, BS.
fyourlife33 0
50 girls huh, bs youre probably a virgin as well
mexiwrestler93 0
why cant people believe this ??
skullbuster 0
Your parents sound funny. And I'm sure they weren't saying that you were un-fuckable or anything, your Dad probably just believes you are still his unsoiled sweet and innocent little angel. Your Mom is probably more of a realist (I mean, you know word on the street is that kid's are having sex at like 4 years old these days). And, one day, they are going to walk in on you giving some guy a ******** in your room - and you will post it here, and we'll all give you props for whoring around! Things will turn around. Don't worry! Be Happy!
misa_amane_fml 0
Well, at least you're not a *****. Be happy for It.