Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
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Top comments
Jaucet 0
Well at least your parents are funny!
mitch707 0
Atleast your Mum has faith in you.
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Comments (117)
looking_glass 0
Lol GREAT PARENTS! Seriously! That sounds like something my parents would do! Hahaha
JMAIS 0
Get in cahoots with your mom and lose the bet again , then up it to $500 and split the money with her, then go buy yourself a piece....use condoms! Gooood Luck!
JMAIS 0
Anyway, your Dad wasn't laughing at you but, at the fact he beat your mom....
Nickachu 0
same thing happend to me!!!!!!!!!! my mom thaught that i did but my dad didnt
ammeters 0
thats messed up. if your a virgin be proud your not a ****.
Bostonbro15 1
LOL That is ****** hilarious. Kind of a douche thing for ur parents to say though .
perfectgrl6971 0
hahaha!! how's this a fml? like really? they were betting on weather you've had sex.. that's barely a fml.
blondiee09 0
how old are you??
hzleyedwonder 0
lol find someone to change that for you then if you dont want it to be nonexistent.
theodivine 0
At least you're not a ****. :] That's so much worse.