Today, while cooking supper with my boyfriend, we both smelled something funny. He tasted the sauce I was making, then asked me to taste it because something was off. I guess the burned Teflon of our cheap pot mixed with Ro-Tel just doesn't work that well. Now we're having dry chicken and plain noodles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I tried to cook an extra healthy, vegetable filled meal for my boyfriend and I. Not only did we notice the vegetables were off a little too late, but he also found my hair in his bowl. We had to settle for turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti loops instead. FML
Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
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Top comments
sousaphonist 14
You should've just used garlic and oil if the marinara didn't work out.
domolovesyoshi 33
They didn't mean the meat was dry, thy mean dry as in the meal had no sauce.
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Comments (18)
firehazard 2
how is this an FML you had one bad dinner and have to buy a new pan next time you go to the store
Tripartita 45
Scroll through some of today's other FMLs. We have somebody who shipped a present incorrectly, somebody who had to buy lingerie, and another who will need to paint walls. These aren't all life-endingly devastating stories.
Lalala579121 28
Because OP's cat ate the sauce and then died.
pjsr 33
Living on love sounds easy until you try it
Tripartita 45
Yikes, that sounds disgusting. However, stainless steel flakes sprinkled over linguine with a side of sliced beryllium rods can be pretty good.
TMO2142 25
If you have dry chicken.. youre cooking wrong
domolovesyoshi 33
They didn't mean the meat was dry, thy mean dry as in the meal had no sauce.
Mechtrex 0
Burned teflon turns me on.
RichardPencil 32
I doubt you burned the teflon. It's more likely that your Ro-tel was ro-ten.
Shadowvoid 33
Isn't burnt Teflon a known carcinogenic... Shouldn't there be other concerns to this FML?
CBL88 25
If the teflon is ruined, you can increase the risk of cancer by using a pot/pan. You should buy a new one
yerawizardlizzy 27
I highly doubt they will be reusing the pan. It's kind of a no-brainer that they should get a new one.
r1has 28
Oh meal of OP You are as dry as Sherlocks wit As slippery as noodles and moriarty And as saucy as inspector Lesterade BTW WHO ELSE IS EXITED FOR SEASON 4
DamnGina 3
All Teflon is extremely bad. Go for stainless steel.