Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
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Top comments
Silhouette_fml 0
Hey, he was sitting in the couch, right? So he was just proving your point.
spankyness 0
How dare you say small things are for small people... ...and then he bought the couch
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Comments (140)
spankyness 0
How dare you say small things are for small people... ...and then he bought the couch
Silhouette_fml 0
Hey, he was sitting in the couch, right? So he was just proving your point.
darronlee 0
True @ #4.
suadelaaa 0
I hate posts like these. "Today I said the wrong thing and looked like a jerk. Wahhh, woe is me. FML" Blahblahblah
daymann 0
but it's freaking hilarious
madgrinchhatter 12
Nope
Lolrus 0
That seems just a little too unlikely. I call BS.
MoonTiger 4
So what did we learn today kids? Don't be a jackass
billyhirvine09 0
^^ win
Cookie_kaioo 0
You sooo deserved that one! Ever occurred to you to maybe THINK or even look around before you speak?! ;)
Rhythm_Man 0
generally, I don't look around before I speak. what would I look for? and before anybody says "idk maybe a MIDGET?" think about it. what are the odds of a random midget just listening in to what I say?
Naith 14
Pretty high you can never see them around. :)
nrgeer 0
Not your brightest moment was it?
last_fml 0
hilarious.
lol_seriously 0
facepalm!