Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
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Top comments
WhatThePhuc 0
SURPRISE CONTRACEPTION!!!
kleokriesel 0
that's what you get for using the pullout method FAIL
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Comments (49)
paulfalcon 0
Falcon Punches negate pregnancy so, well done!
xsydbabyx 0
FALCON PUNCH. SCORE4U. You solves teen pregnancy :D - S.
SgtSchadenfreude 0
#25: LOL! But you forgot that the real payoff is when you shout "WHOA!" with a bewildered yet vapid expression on your face, which is known in most circles as the Joey Lawrence follow-through.
Etc80 0
#7 made me laugh more than the actual fml! HAHAHA.
frayedwire 0
I might actually try this one. I'll have to make sure it looks like a slip though.
cherrymary 0
YOU FAIL
ELAINEsaysWOOF 0
you should have punched her in the face
PaperxHearts_xox 0
wow, that was REAL smart, huh, buddy? how do you end up 'accidently' punching her anyways? next time, be a little more careful. you could've easily really hurt her.
Amphysvena 11
how the **** did you slip? were you guys ******* while standing on a wet floor or something? nice job, tard
ME0730 0
OMG THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!