Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to tell me he couldn't take it anymore because my legs were too hairy. I shaved yesterday. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
B1ackthesun 31
Grasshopper has much to learn.
Comet_Candy 23
Oh wow... I'd probably burst out laughing if my boyfriend ever did something like that! But FYL, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (63)
nipun 17
I think a crane kick is what he deserves :-P
hallix 21
Agreed! Putting this on my bucket list.
sythe511 28
That's pretty funny actually
JanisEvans 10
An ex used to do that with my ass. I thought it was funny.
PieReaper 11
****** on ****** off
venomlash 9
Tell him that if he does that ever again, the only action he'll get will be to "wax off".
XoAlexxxoX 5
You're lucky you even get that close. My boyfriend has his, I'm left hanging and sex is over. Just tell him to not do it again or you won't have sex with him. I'm pretty sure he'll get the point after not being able to get his rocks off
thee_most_dope 30
killing it dead? well no kidding. ..is there any other way to kill? lol
False_Stupidity 42
Well there's killing it and having it reanimate as a zombie...
kiaora_fml 11
Sounds funny op, lighten up abit! My hubby couldn't hold in a fart during sex once, and he stopped while we were having sex and while still inside of me let out a huge fart then kept on going, I said stop, I don't thinkso. He now farts before and doesn't try to hold it in, at least your man didn't do that. Lighten up, could of been worse and I thought this was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh LOL
nerovetsrethca 20
Pity about your ******. But damn your boyfriend is a keeper :)