Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching TV. He gets up at one point and turns the light off, so I asked him why. He replied, "You look better in the dark." FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
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Top comments
ButtFaceFace 1
Having sex with strangers is also a great way to get STDs.
rathalosrocker 0
dont call her a *****, a girl is a ***** for ******* a lot of guys but a man is cool and a playa for ******* lots of girls, which doesnt make sense, just leave her alone
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Comments (51)
total 1
Well I think having sex doggy style is very sexy but what would u do when the guy u where with turned around and showed his arse to u... Lol.. Its very natural but just not a really pretty sight..
npk88 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
what a ***** who admits to "today I had a one night stand". That dude got lucky now he won't catch one of the dozens of std's you probably have.
alex_vik 1
Started it out with "I had a one night stand". You deserved anything that happened.
sahreeg 0
#3 after getting aids it stops being cool O.o
Akhan_fml 0
wow.... look at your ass at home from now on
pat101 0
Ummm. Dude, that's harsh but look at it this way at least he was honest. Afterall, it was a one night stand.
thisstuffisgreat 0
you should have walked out
vitaminsandminer 0
#15 the guy still had sex with her, and dont call her a ***** sex is completely natural
downeyjr 0
You're not a ***** or a loser. However, I totally agree with #5 and think you should have ******* left the second he said some degrading shit like that. Dude is lucky he's even getting some.
marris 0
you could have ended this with "i was having a one night stand"