Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
horneyhic 15
So "help" him get it back
TanzWolf 26
Better then most girls, others would have posted an FML saying "Today, a really hot guy I was getting to second base with said my boobs were "soft like cake". FML"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
**** his life is more like it...
dcats 13
Give him a desert fork then
topher5110 7
what does that even mean?
amused4u 7
lol I had an ex boyfriend who said "feed me mommy " while playing with my breast lol so your not alone
DBKT 25
That is just so wrong!!
lulinator 40
I'm glad that says "ex."
battlehamster 8
Wait.. Aren't you already at second base and he's just arriving?
5secondsoffuck 4
I'm sorry this is the funniest thing I've read on FML ??
Setareh23 34
Aw, poor guy probably feels really self-conscious now. I feel bad for him! Be nice about it, and hopefully you two can work it out and continue where you left off :3
worldclassrager 41
Perhaps a different name?
floyyd 2
SOFT LIKE CAKE that's so cute.
syed121417 22
Well, honestly OP, I understand that you thought it was funny but I feel more bad for him. Poor guy. YDI
Tannasgh 22
The ringing of woman's laughter is a melody. Small egos are easily bruised...