Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
horneyhic 15
So "help" him get it back
TanzWolf 26
Better then most girls, others would have posted an FML saying "Today, a really hot guy I was getting to second base with said my boobs were "soft like cake". FML"
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Comments (85)
vixypixys 13
Crumbly and moist? *cringes at the word moist*
Jared900DUmpling 30
Is the cake a lie?
DocBastard 40
Even I know that meme is like so totally 2010, and I'm old.
Krirn 21
Is this when you tell us about the time you took an arrow to the knee? On another note, I'm actually quite surprised to catch a DocBastard sighting, but then again, I rarely scroll through the comments anymore.
Ichiya 29
Let me guess someone stole your sweet roll.
somewizdom 15
That's a polite way to say: "I thought you had fake ****".
DoubleDosexo 12
some cakes are extremely soft. he probably hasn't had hard cake.
pikamitsu 3
Did he eventually get to put the icing on the cake?
Silk_Routes 14
pineapple flavour with cherry ****...errrrr i mean toppings ;)
vlalam 24
I am hungry now... lol, jk
keiNan_fml 35
he deserves a piece, get back to it
isabellasimone 18
You could probably give him another one pretty quickly. But at least cake is soft and delicious!
earljonez 22
better than your boobs feeling like a bag of sand......
mete_orito 34
Are you a 40 year old virgin? :-P
earljonez 22
Ya not since I was like...12
littleteapot 21
12? I would keep that to myself if I were you.
Ichiya 29
You were a 40 yr old virgin at 12? That is an epic achievement my friend.
RoboCunnilingus 23
I'm sure that was a line from the film, guys.
cryssycakesx3 23
so now you both are soft.