Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML
Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
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Top comments
Rawrshi 25
Bloody hell.
hard_candy 25
pain relieving pills, check. postponed sexy time, check check check.
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Comments (109)
captainsmegma 12
Poor hubby. He just has to roll with the flow.
thelastavailable 13
Just move to the shower, sex is a great pain killer.
JuzzyBux 9
Really sucks, but it is indeed cute how much you seem to love him.. I mean your heart is bleeding! No? Okey.. FYL tho.
moveonova 3
at least your not pregnant
BBeffedmylife 28
Because being pregnant is such a negative thing?
limabeans101029 21
Well... yes, if you don't want to be pregnant
theocide 1
anal
martin8337 36
If there's a red tide in the funhouse, then you gotta use the shithouse.
unwantedforlife 14
Drink lots of lemon juice. Worked for me in college to delay it and/or stop it.
thinblue32 15
No sex? Check
xebi 4
Don't see why not, #48. It's the cramps that are likely to ruin poor OP's evening.
thinblue32 15
Cause of all the blood. That was just a guess lol
xebi 4
It's never bothered me. In fact, sex can help to relieve the cramps. I know it sounds gross, but the blood actually helps with lubrication. Just put a towel down first! Loads of people say it's BJ time but that sometimes makes it worse because you often have to contort into odd positions.
syed121417 22
It's true that not only sex but also masturbation can help relieve menstraul cramps and bloating. However, many people have a very heavy period. I have a very heavy flow for the first 3 days so I would just ********** maybe in the shower and put the sex off for a few days. But I hear there are sponges and different products that make sex on your period mess free!
rautumnoss 1
Aunt Flo can be a real bitch sometimes.
jdcg116 10
Red Wings. Earn them man. Both pairs. ;-)