Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML
Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML
Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML
Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, I went all out for my husband on our anniversary. I planned meals, took him to a stage show, and got him a bottle of cologne he loves. He was moody, distant, and at one point crying. Why? He found out his ex-wife is getting married today and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. FML
Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
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Top comments
Rawrshi 25
Bloody hell.
hard_candy 25
pain relieving pills, check. postponed sexy time, check check check.
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Comments (109)
DrHothead 15
That bitch
BBeffedmylife 28
I feel your pain, OP! Sometimes being a woman straight up SUCKS.
kyuubi1 14
just wait and make it up to him after your period is done he shouldn't mind
gherty 15
Like this is all about him? Not her cramping and shit
DjeePee 25
That's one of the reasons I'm so happy with my contraception pill. Unfortunate timing? Just take another strip to delay your period for yet a month. I also hope this isn't a reason to delay the sexytime. You can give everything and receive some by wearing a tampon - whoowhoo slogan! - or you can put a towel underneath you, make some loving, and end with a shower. Or sex in the shower. Really, don't let some blood ruin it all.
cdawg69 10
yuck
limabeans101029 21
Some people just don't like period sex. When I'm on my period, even if I'm really horny, sex is the last thing I want to be doing. For some people, it's hard not to let "some blood" ruin it
syed121417 22
Yeah but I don't think doing that very often is a good idea...
ostfaiz 18
bloddy egg yolk
countrysoccer 10
hhahA omg
vivaellefashion 14
There will be blood
phillysportsfan 13
Not that I've participated in this but.. I heard that sex help with period cramps.
ericapalooza 8
when you role over while in pain try not to slip off the sheets.
UmmOkThen 31
That is the worst!!! I totally empathize.
MsKatieFace 11
There are sponges you can insert that make mess free sex possible even on a period, plus think of the endorphins, natural pain relief! Even if you don't fancy sticking something up inside of you, there's still shower sex, you can make use of the underwear and bed sheets for the foreplay, or if you aren't particularly heavy a quick shower and a few towels on top of the sheets will limit and contain any blood. Actual question though, to the guys saying use the back door instead, how is it a little bit of blood mixed in with the natural vaginal secretions that don't bother you the rest of the month, is suddenly more disgusting than sticking it where she ***** from? No matter how well you might clean before anal there is always at least traces of shit going to get on you, and you run the risk of stimulating the bowel and her literally ******** on you, how is that in any way better than a little bit of blood?