Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
You brought it on yourself... I'm a lesbian, too, but I'm polite enough to avert my eyes if a friend changes in front of me. Sounds like you were giving her a free show, though.
timtam24 0
hmm you'd think it would have come up before then..
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Comments (204)
Qup 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
if she didn't talk to you about it before then she's been decieving you. get rid of her. I don't care if she's lesbian, I just hate liars. and lies of omission do count. if she gave you hints and you are too clueless to figure it out, she should have been more open about it. and, it would never occur to me to get completely undressed in front of a roommate. but that's just me.
wienerwagon 0
Are you serious? Do you go out of your way to tell everyone you know that you're straight? It's not OP's roommate's fault that OP just assumes that everybody is straight. Your sexuality is something you should only talk about with people who you're comfortable discussing it with. You don't have to tell everybody your orientation.
blink831forever 13
Well I'm not talking about an old guy I'm talking about her roommate. And if you have an old guy standing outside your window watching you that really sucks!
ovyind 0
Why the hell is that an FML? :S I don't get it, why is it a BAD thing that someone likes your body?
plexico 4
You should have said, "No, but how are things in Beirut?"
littlegolferboy 4
Somehow I think that joke is going to go waaay over the heads of the vast majority of people here. But kudos for trying.
plexico 4
littlegolferboy, I wrote that especially for the few who might get that. Good to know there was at least one.
null_fml 11
Yeah, I definitely didn't get it at first. I'm bad with geography in general. I suspected, I googled, I roffled.
3P0N1N3 0
Very nice.
ClumsyJason 3
I wish i was here (:
ilikeu12 0
Hahahahahaha then you should of told her 2 get undressed 2 lololololololo
bobbysnickers 0
this is one of the many reasons guys just dont take off their clothes with each other
myfairyoshi_fml 0
LOL Hahahahahahaha Why is this so funny to me?!
Nocturna_fml 0
Two years and you didn't know that she was a lesbian? Also, why is this a FML? So what if she saw you naked and admired your body, you should feel flattered.
anonymous18_fml 0
this sounds stupid... "I asked her why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body"?? who asks that? who refers to it like that? if my friend was staring at me while i was changing i probably wouldn't even notice, obviously the girl changing was looking back at the roommate, which is equally creepy to me.
flinkpamingo 0
If you are NOT a lesbian run hard and run fast! That is pressure you don't want to live with because it's not worth it. It's the SAME as when a good friend of opposite sex tells you they think of you that way. It's uncomfortable and awkward. Every time you are in the same room it's stressful. So, no disrespect to anyone, it's just a dang uncomfortable thing. It's like living with a shark and you are a bleeding swimmer. Ok, the hand rails are in place for those of you who want to ride my ass about this. All aboard!
TheTragicReturn 0
No, from personal experience I know it does NOT have to be that way. A friend told me she likes me, but I was honest and said I DON'T like her that way. We agreed that the situation does NOT have to be awkward, and we became even better friends.